How to Parent Teens With Love & Logic

The teen years can be one of the most joyful or dreaded times of a child’s life for a parent. Teenagers experience a handful of changes in their bodies and face new social pressures, which are a normal part of growing into an adult. During the teen years, young people develop a new sense of independence they want to explore, but do not always think about the consequences of their actions. To help a teen transition into a young adult, parents can use love and logic as a way to nurture, discipline and support their children.

Instructions

    • 1

      Discipline your teen instead of punishing him. According to the University of Minnesota, punishment is one-sided, serves more as a release for parents and does not help shape behavior. On the other hand, discipline provides logical consequences to actions, helps a teen develop self-control and encourages positive change.

    • 2

      Set clear, reasonable limits and realistic expectations. Teens are not mind readers, so you need to tell them exactly what they are not allowed to do and what is expected of them in a manner that does not include anger, threats or lectures. Explain the reason for setting limits or boundaries is for the teen’s safety, and explain the consequences of violating the boundaries.

    • 3

      Help your teen resolve her problems and take responsibility for her actions. For example, if a teen borrows her mom’s shirt without permission and gets a stain on it, you should allow the teen to help come up with solutions and help her figure out the most effective one, according to the Love and Logic Institute. When a teen finds herself in trouble, rescuing is not always the best solution. If a parent instantly or constantly bails a teen out of a detention center for skipping school or shoplifting, a teen may not learn responsibility. However, leading with empathy and making the teen deal with the consequences of an action can help her have a better sense of cause and effect.

    • 4

      Ask questions. It is important for parents to know why their teen acts a certain way, and sometimes that is accomplished by simply asking the young person. When you approach a teen with a question, the teen must know you are asking so you can better understand them, not accuse.

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