How to Discipline When Teens Hit Their Siblings

Unfortunately, sibling rivalry is not restricted to young children; in fact, it often continues well into the teenage years. While a little sibling competition is healthy, when things turn aggressive, or worse, violent, it is time for the parents to step in and take control of the situation. Disciplining a teenage child is often more challenging than disciplining a toddler, due to the physical and hormonal changes of puberty. Understanding, as well as punishing, your teen's violent behavior is important if you want to prevent future incidents.

Instructions

    • 1

      Set clear rules. You need to establish your authority as the parent and let your teen know exactly what constitutes poor or bad behavior. Make it absolutely clear that aggressive or violent behavior is simply unacceptable, no matter what the circumstances. Teenagers often feel misunderstood and, while the logic behind his behavior may seem skewed to you, it probably makes complete sense to him.

    • 2

      Establish consequences. Inform your teen that you will punish any incidents of aggression. Ensure your punishments are firm but fair, such as three days without Internet use or television for minor incidents. More serious offenses should incur harsher consequences, such as stopping him from going out to see friends for a week. Always stick to your punishments; the moment you relent your teenager will see you as weak and feel he can push the boundaries and go unpunished in the future.

    • 3

      Make him responsible for his actions. Encourage him to apologize, sincerely, to the sibling whom he hit. Ask him why he thinks he should be able to take his frustration and anger out on his sibling, suggests the Empowering Parents website.

    • 4

      Talk to your teenager about bullying; explain that by hitting and being aggressive toward his siblings he is bullying them. Explain that everyone feels anger, but that it is simply not acceptable behavior to react with violence toward others, recommends Dr. Bernard Golden for a New Living Magazine article.

    • 5

      Try to understand your teen; this will ultimately help you handle his future behavior more effectively. Acknowledge his feelings and help him learn how to deal with the wide range of emotions he may be feeling. For instance, deep breathing for a minute or two is a good way to calm down, says Dr. Golden. Explain that it is up to him to control his emotions and not let them affect his actions.

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