Tantrums In Teens

While the specter of a 2-year-old losing his cool with screams and flailing arms might be unappealing, at least you expect it of small children. With age, generally people develop more self-control, and these temper tantrums usually dissipate. If your teenager still has tantrums, encourage better anger management with incentives.

  1. Common Triggers

    • Teenagers that resort to aggression to resolve issues may show common behaviors and actions, states Groff & Associates Professional Counseling. You may hear swearing directed at you, accompanied by yelling and threats. The teen may lash out physically and damage walls or doors in anger. The adolescent may have trouble following rules and hearing the word ̶0;no,̶1; possibly showing open defiance to limitations. Your teenager may also devolve into an uncontrolled rage, possibly in an attempt to manipulate to get his way.

    Promote Safety

    • When a big and strong teenager loses control and gives in to anger, safety will be an important consideration, warns social worker Janet Lehman, with the Empowering Parents website. If younger children are nearby, escort them out of the area to ensure physical safety and so they won̵7;t witness the tirade. It may also help to reduce external stimulation in the environment by reducing background noises -- television and music -- and by turning down lights as well.

    Model Calmness

    • It can be challenging to stay calm and rational with a teenager raging at you, but your calm demeanor will model the correct behavior for your teenager, advises the David O. McKay School of Education with the Brigham Young University. Instead of returning your teen̵7;s wrathful intensity with wrath of your own, provide a positive example of how to respectfully and effectively resolve a difficult situation by speaking calmly and rationally to your teenager.

    Disengage and Encourage Better Behavior

    • When a situation devolves and your teenager loses control, disengage yourself from the spectacle to ensure you don̵7;t encourage the behavior. Tell your teenager that you will be happy to discuss issues with her after she̵7;s calmed down, but that you won̵7;t stay to watch and listen to her anger. You may also need to remove yourself physically from the area to give your teenager an opportunity to calm down, recommends parenting educator Michael Grose for "Parenting Ideas." Later, after calmness returns, speak rationally with your teen to provide incentives for better behavior. Your teenager might earn additional privileges by showing you that she can use self-control. She might also lose privileges if the tantrums continue.

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