Good Methods for Teaching Teenagers Not to Lie
When your teen lies, it makes it difficult to trust him, even on the most basic issues. It is important for your teen to understand how difficult life can become when no one trusts what you say, so you need effective methods for getting this message across. Hopefully, your teen will see the error of his ways and decide that ̶0;honesty is the best policy̶1; when it comes to what he says.
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Role Modeling
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If you want your teen to be honest with you, you must be honest yourself, according to psychologist Roger Allen, author of ̶0;Common Sense Discipline.̶1; If she hears you lying, even if you don̵7;t lie to her, you send a mixed message that says lying is OK. You can explain, ̶0;Sometimes it seems easier to lie than to tell the truth, especially when telling the truth will get you in trouble. However, the punishment will always be greater when you lie and I discover it than when you tell the truth. If you explain why you did something, perhaps I will understand and help you find a way to deal with the consequences of your actions.̶1;
Logical Consequences
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If your teen makes a habit of lying, you could wonder if anything he says is truth. Behave as if you don̵7;t trust anything he says so he gets the message, writes Allen. If he says he is hungry, don̵7;t stop to prepare something for him to eat. If he complains, reply, ̶0;You lie so often, how was I to know what you said was true?̶1; Insist on checking everything he says. For example, if he says it̵7;s raining outside, listen for rain or open the blinds or door to check the accuracy of his words. If he says there isn̵7;t any milk in the refrigerator, open the door. Soon he will understand that he must tell the truth if he wants you to believe him.
Negative Consequences
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If your teen has access to your car and you have discovered that she said she was going one place when she went to another, restrict her use of the car until you can verify that she is using the car in an honest fashion. Install a GPS tracker on the car so you can check her movements with your computer or smartphone. Confront her with the evidence of her dishonesty and demand the keys. You can limit her movements to places where you drive her until she earns back your trust. You can require her to pay for the extra gas and mileage of unauthorized use based on the GPS report.
Role-Play
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Dishonesty has real consequences in the real world. Discuss how lying can end a job, get her tossed in jail or cause her to lose her home. Role-play a situation where she lies to a boss about why she is late or whether she completed a task at work. You can also note that lying on legal paperwork or to a legal official, such as claiming to be someone she isn̵7;t or saying she is older than she is, can carry fines and jail time. Help her look at the long-term consequences of lying in terms of her career and her criminal and credit history.
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