How to Restore Wayward Teens
The transition into adulthood is difficult for many teenagers. In their attempt to define who they are, they might rebel and try drugs, drinking, smoking, or shoplifting and vandalism. Your relationship can become strained, too. Though the conditions might seem impossible at times, you can take several steps to help restore your wayward teen to the sweet boy or girl you once knew.
Instructions
Work on establishing communication. KidsHealth recommends that parents start communicating with their teens early. If your teen is already acting out, you might have waited too long to start certain conversations, such as how to handle peer pressure, safe sexual practices and the dangers of drug use. Work on establishing communication about these and other topics so you can be a positive influence. Set limits and enforce them. Ryan Peister, a social worker who has worked with troubled teens writing for the website Helps Starts Here, says that parents need to be firm but fair and to develop an approach that combines discipline with love. It is necessary to set limits with your teen and to be consistent in enforcing them. Have a discussion about the house rules, including what responsibilities your teen has and what behavior is off limits. Talk about what the consequences will be, as well. If it helps, post the rules in a common area of your home or write up a contract and ask your teen to sign it. Slowly reintroduce privileges. If your wayward teen is acting out, remove privileges as a natural consequence. This can include taking away a cell phone, limiting time with friends, or revoking driving privileges. If your teen begins to behave more positively, you can reintroduce privileges as a sign of trust. Be consistent with removing and reintroducing privileges for discipline and rewards. Inconsistency can cause the strategy to become ineffective. Supervise and stay involved. When you are an active presence in your teen's life, it's harder for him to get into trouble. The Issaquah High School PTA in Washington recommends that parents be an active presence when their teens have friends over, especially during parties. The PTA recommends that parents also enlist the help of friends, family and neighbors to keep an eye on their teens when they are at work or away from home for errands. Encourage positive activities. Peer pressure can work both ways. If teens are surrounded by positive people and activities, instead of negative ones, they might feel influenced to be more positive themselves. Try after-school activities such as team sports or clubs. Volunteer work or participation in church activities might also be beneficial. Talk about the negative consequences. Most teens don't think through the potential consequences of their actions. Have a frank conversation about what some of these might be, such as poor grades and lack of educational opportunities, sexually transmitted diseases, illness or injury from drug use or drinking, or even jail time. A good dose of reality might be enough to sober up an out-of-control teen. Get to the root of the issue. Some teens act out as a natural part of navigating the transition to adulthood. However, some teens might act out because they are depressed, they are being bullied, or they are being abused. Talk with your teen about what might be behind their behavior. If you aren't able to get to the bottom of it, have your teen talk to a counselor.
