How to Reward a Teenager

Finding appropriate ways to reward your teenager for good behavior only works well if you agree on the reward together, which could be difficult to do because of conflicting opinions. Rewards she would've done anything for only a few years ago might not get her attention now. However, there are ways you can work this out satisfactorily.

Things You'll Need

  • Reward Chart

Instructions

    • 1

      Ask your teen for input -- communication is vital in creating an effective reward system. Select rewards together and make them worth the effort. Let her see a movie, stay out a little later or have a friend sleep over. Mutually agree what appropriate rewards would be.

    • 2

      Limit rewards and privileges. If your teen gets everything, including total freedom, you have lost parental leverage. Keep your teen marginally dependent on you. Once she no longer needs you to provide for her needs or your permission for things she wants to do, you risk losing power and influence.

    • 3

      Encourage your teen's strengths and use them as rewards. When your teen makes good decisions, gets good grades or overcomes a weakness, for example, reward her with something that further develops a strength, talent or hobby. For example, if she gets good grades, allow her to play an extra sport or sign her up for private singing lessons.

    • 4

      Praise your teen often. It is important you remain honest -- she can easily sniff out phony praise. Offer plenty of praise when it is due -- but keep it meaningful. Compliment her on a job well done or give her your full attention when she talks about something good she has done.

    • 5

      Reward her appropriately when she has met goals along the way and not only when she has successfully achieved the desired final outcome. For example, if you agree that her grades need improvement, reward her for getting a better grade on a quiz or weekly test. Do not wait until the final grade has improved to reward her.

    • 6

      Set up a point system according to accomplished tasks and use a chart to easily track when a reward is due. Clearly define the value of points and how they will be earned. Reward her promptly and reliably.

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