How to Be a Good Stepmom to Boys

Whether you're parenting a blended family of boys or girls, being a stepmom doesn't come with a manual or a pamphlet of golden rules, mostly because those universal golden rules don't exist -- every family, every stepmom and every budding boy is different. Despite these variables, you can follow general guidelines to help you and your boys along your journey.

Instructions

    • 1

      Understand your role. Rather than trying to replace the boys' mother, which can cause resentment, view yourself as an adult mentor, role model, additional parent figure and -- sometimes -- friend. Act as a parental support system rather than a parental replacement.

    • 2

      Focus on forming a relationship. New stepparents often hurry into disciplining roles, but this mistake often leads to early conflict, especially among headstrong boys or those close with their paternal mothers. Leave the strict discipline to the father, especially toward the beginning. Without being overbearing, schedule quality time with your stepson, engaging in activities that aren't routine but are within his interests, such as going to a ballgame or seeing a new movie he likes.

    • 3

      Communicate, listen and spend time. As part of building your relationship, simply talk to your stepson. Learn about his interests and history and really listen rather than talking over him or exerting your authority. This way, you'll be able to connect to the boy on his level and earn his trust, and you'll also help develop something some boys struggle with -- emotional expression.

    • 4

      Take it slow. Instead of forcing your stepson to interact with you, give him space. Often, the child will come to you as time passes. Respect the existing family relationships -- if your stepson is close with his mother, encourage that -- and realize a new family structure doesn't grow overnight.

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