Why Is It Important for a Boy to Bond With His Mother?

The bond between mother and son is one of the most important bonds that can be forged between two people. By observing their sons, mothers learn the secret minds of men; some experience the softer, nurturing side of masculinity for the first time. By observing their mothers, many sons learn how to embrace their emotions, how to talk about their feelings and how not to be ashamed of their own feminine traits.

  1. Self Esteem

    • Boys who bond with their mothers have a healthy level of self esteem. Through the love, attention, respect and affection showed to them by their mothers, boys learn they are worthy of positive attention from others. Bonding with their mother makes boys feel valued, through which they learn they are valuable. Boys who aren̵7;t nurtured by their maternal parent can grow up feeling undeserving of love and care. This dynamic extends beyond the mother-son relationship; boys will treat others based on how they feel about themselves. If they feel appreciated, they will appreciate others. If they feel mistreated, they will likely mistreat others.

    World View

    • How a mother bonds with her son shapes how he will view the world. Mothers provide their sons with the first example of how people interact with each other. A loving mother who smiles, hugs, encourages, praises and reassures her son teaches him that the world is a supportive environment, and he grows up to expect kindness and respect wherever he goes. Because of his expectations, he will develop these traits within himself that match his world view. He will view unkindness and disregard as the exception to human behavior, rather than the rule. Conversely, a mother who is distant, derogatory, unkind and abusive teaches her son that the world is an unsafe place full of untrustworthy people. He will operate in the world accordingly. He will view unkindness and disregard as the rule of human behavior, rather than the exception.

    Future Relationships

    • The way a boy bonds with his mother also impacts his future relationships. Boys tend to treat the women in their lives similarly to how they treat their mothers. A boy who bonds closely with his mother and participates in a relationship filled with mutual respect, kindness and adoration will pass this level of care on to his future girlfriends and wives. A boy who doesn̵7;t bond with his mother might struggle through later relationships with women, because he lacks a positive example of what a loving relationship should feel like.

    Behavioral Issues

    • Behavioral problems can arise in boys who have not bonded with their mothers. Mothers who are close to their sons often teach them how to handle problems appropriately, think rationally and control negative emotions when they arise. Sons who have not bonded with their mothers often have difficulty handling their rage and hostility.

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