What Is an Autocratic Parent?

Experts generally define three basic types of parenting styles: permissive, authoritative and authoritarian, which is also known as autocratic, according to WebMD. Although parents can use more than one type of parenting style when raising their children, most rely on a single approach. Parenting styles typically are distinguished by how much affection a parent shows a child and the amount of control a parent has over a child. Consequently, the type of parenting style you use affects your relationship with your child.

  1. Affection

    • An article published in "BYU Magazine" points out that developing a loving relationship with a child is a key element for successful parenting. Although permissive parents might shower their children with love, because no limits are put on their behavior, these kids often feel insecure. In contrast, authoritarian, or autocratic, parents love their children but don̵7;t show them outward affection. These parents tend to have extremely high expectations regarding their children̵7;s behavior and believe they are showing their love by expecting the best from them. While authoritative parents also expect their children to follow rules, the difference is these parents set practical boundaries and aren̵7;t afraid to demonstrate obvious signs of affection.

    Communication

    • Permissive parents communicate openly with their children but usually let their kids do what they want. These parents want to be their child̵7;s friend rather than a disciplinarian who is responsible for establishing and enforcing rules. Conversely, authoritarian parents are controlling and therefore expect their children to do exactly as they say. Because these parents think they know what̵7;s best for their children, kids raised in authoritarian households aren̵7;t normally allowed to disagree with their parents or express their own opinions. Authoritative parents, on the other hand, listen to what their children have to say and give them reasonable choices to encourage positive behavior.

    Obedience

    • Authoritarian parents expect their children to follow their rules and do as they are told without question. They allow no room for compromise or negotiation. As a result, children who grow up governed by this parenting style often are pushed into defiance and rebellion. Clinical psychologist and parenting expert Laura Markham, at AhaParenting.com, points out that when kids behave well it̵7;s because they want to please their parents. However, if you consistently discipline with punishment, you risk undermining your child̵7;s wish to please you. Authoritative parents, who use a more positive and loving approach, have high expectations for their children, but are role models for how they expect their children to behave.

    Respect

    • Authoritarian parents tend to be strict and rigid when it comes to disciplining their children. Although these parents expect their children to be respectful, they see their way as the only way. Children of permissive parents don̵7;t always fare much better. Because they are used to getting their own way, they learn to have little respect for their parents and often fail to develop respect for other people. Setting realistic expectations for behavior and listening to what children have to say usually get better results. According to the University of Minnesota Extension, research shows children from families that use authoritative parenting are more likely to develop a healthy sense of self and grow up to be responsible and caring individuals. Different from the approach of authoritarian parents, authoritative parents treat their children fairly and with the respect they expect in return.

    2. Previous:

    Next: