Permissive Parenting & Empathy
Empathy includes being able to see another̵7;s point of view or feel another̵7;s emotions, according to an August 2011 article in ̶0;Psychology Today.̶1; The article goes on to state that what we most often mean by empathy, however, is being able to recognize another person̵7;s emotional state, ̶0;tune in̶1; to that state and demonstrate appropriate concern. Parents who are permissive score high in empathy, according to Dr. Laura Markham, a clinical psychologist and author of ̶0;Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids.̶1;
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Parenting Styles
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Permissive parenting is one of four styles of parenting identified by psychologist Diana Baumrind. The other styles include authoritarian, authoritative and uninvolved parenting. Baumrind determined the styles based on two major factors: parental control and parental warmth. Parental control has to do with enforcing standards and setting limits, while parental warmth has to do with nurturing, supportive behavior. Authoritarian parents are high in control and low in warmth; authoritative parents are high in both dimensions and uninvolved parents are low in both dimensions. Permissive parents are high in warmth and empathy, but low in control.
Limits are Necessary
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Parents who tuned in to their children̵7;s emotions may be reluctant to take an action that incites a tantrum, causes emotional pain or damages the parent-child relationship. Markham notes, however, that children who do not experience limits do not feel safe because they feel their parents do not care enough to protect them from the consequences of dangerous behavior. Although empathy promotes a strong connection between the parent and child because it shows concern for the child̵7;s feelings and desires, Markham says empathy without limits promotes self-centered, spoiled children.
Children's Behavior
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The research on children raised by permissive parents shows varying outcomes, according to Gwen Dewar, an anthropologist who writes about the science of parenting. Dewar says that children who have permissive parents are better off than children of uninvolved parents, as they tend to have high self-esteem and be more resourceful. Dewar notes, however, that indulged children are less self-disciplined and less responsible than those raised by authoritative parents are. Permissive parenting also tends to increase aggressive behavior in children over time, result in excessive television use, and result in teenagers who are more likely to use alcohol.
Temperment and Parenting
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A study reported in the 2007 ̶0;Journal of Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychology̶1; found that children who displayed callous and unemotional behaviors, and who had low levels of guilt and empathy were more likely to have been raised by parents who were inconsistent in setting limits. A failure to set or hold to limits is characteristic of permissive parenting. The article noted, however, that the child̵7;s temperament also played a role. Children who are less inhibited are more inclined to be thrill seekers ̵1; who were less reactive to threatening and emotionally distressing situations -- were more likely to display callous and unemotional behavior.
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