The Effects on Children of Overparenting

Some call it helicopter parenting, while others prefer to call it "black hawk" parenting. Some parents pride themselves on being tiger moms or dads, but whatever term they use, many parents are guilty of overparenting their children. Parents who are too involved in their children's lives believe they are doing the best things for their children. However, this kind of behavior has the exact opposite effect in the long run.

  1. Overview

    • Overparenting can have many definitions. For some, it means spoiling a child with material things, giving him everything he asks for and then some. For others, it means never allowing their child to fail, doing their homework instead of assisting, calling teachers or school administrators to protest grades, writing their child's college essays, or questioning the soccer coach who left the child on the bench for a quarter. It also may include parents who do not let their child get dirty, out of fear of germs, or attend school, for fear their child will learn unsavory behaviors.

    Less Self-Sufficiency

    • Part of a parent's job is to teach children how to navigate life on their own. However, parents who do everything for their children raise children who do not know how to do anything for themselves. Children must be given the opportunity to try and fail in order to learn. Instead of doing everything for your children, teach them age-appropriate tasks, such as putting their toys away, doing their laundry and keeping gas in the car. Otherwise, they grow up to be adults who do not know how to handle doing basic things, such as cooking a meal or washing a load of laundry.

    Increased Sense of Entitlement

    • Though they may feel it is a way for them to demonstrate love to their children, parents who demand their child play every inning of a baseball game, receive an A on every school project and get everything they ask for tend to raise children who are spoiled or have an increased sense of entitlement. These children do not learn they can't have everything they want. Those who overparent also may turn a blind eye to their child's misbehavior and never teach them acceptable behaviors. This may result in trouble at school or with the law. Or, it could precipitate unhealthy behaviors, such as overeating or dependence on drugs or alcohol.

    Decreased Mental Health

    • Some parents who do not let their child get dirty for fear of germs or go out at night or walk alone for fear of danger may pass their fears onto their children, who then develop anxiety. Additionally, many children never develop skills to cope when life gets difficult, so even the slightest bump may cause increased stress and anxiety. Some children who are parented in this way may suffer from low self-esteem or a sense of worthlessness.

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