Combining Parenting Styles

Finding a happy medium in parenting styles can be difficult. Parents have their own ideas about child rearing, and may not always agree on one parenting style. Even single parents may use a combination of styles in their parenting practice. People often develop the same or similar parenting styles as their own parents, but others may adopt a style completely opposite of their own parents. Learning to compromise and find what works best for an individual family is the best option.

  1. Parenting Styles

    • There are four basic parenting styles. Authoritarian parents are strict disciplinarians that require obedience to rules. Permissive parents are reluctant to enforce rules. Authoritative parents provide the most balance in their parenting style; they expect children to follow the rules, but are also more apt to provide an explanation for the rules. Authoritative parents listen to their children and allow them to express their feelings. Uninvolved parents provide their kids with their basic material needs, but little else.

    Consistency in Parenting

    • Parents that have completely different parenting styles may find themselves in conflict with each other. If the parents can't agree on disciplinary measures, confusion will result, and behavior problems may arise. If one parent says yes, and the other parent says no, the child will typically go to the parent who is more permissive. The child may learn to manipulate the parents, and take advantage of the permissive parent. It is important for both parents to be on the same page, and enforce the rules together. Consistency is an important component of effective child rearing.

    Blended Families and Combining Styles

    • When two families blend into one, each parent may feel like they're starting from scratch in the parenting department. If one parent's kids were raised with a permissive style, and the other parent is strict, the kids might rebel against the discipline. If one parent's kids have to listen, and the others are allowed some leeway, the children might begin to resent the new family situation. The parents should review and evaluate their parenting styles, and determine how they can combine them to meet in the middle. Parents should learn to back each other up on the rules and make sure they apply to both sets of children. A more strict parent could agree to relax their rigid parenting style by extending bedtime on weekends.

    Compromise

    • Compromise is the key to blending parenting styles in families. According to The Successful Parent, parents should focus on the positive aspects of both parents' styles and determine what values they want to incorporate. Parents need to examine areas of parenting where conflicts are likely to arise, and outline how they will handle those problems. It is important for them to sit down and discuss how they want to raise their children, and work out a plan that will provide their kids with the structure and discipline they need, while supporting their self-esteem and positive development. This may take weeks or even months. There is no quick-fix for parenting. Children will grow and rules will change. However, working together in a positive manner is a good way to start.

    2. Previous:

    Next:

    • Types of Parenting Skills
      Child psychologists have found parenting styles can be broken down in to three basic categories: authoritarian, permissive, and authoritative. No one style is correct, and most parents will not use one parenting style exclusively. Parents will probab
    • Combining Parenting Styles
      Finding a happy medium in parenting styles can be difficult. Parents have their own ideas about child rearing, and may not always agree on one parenting style. Even single parents may use a combination of styles in their parenting practice. People of
    • The Role of a Mother in Teaching Islam to Her Children
      Islam reveres motherhood, as expressed in a hadith, or saying of the Prophet Muhammad: "Do good to and serve your mother, then your mother, then your mother, then your father, then the near relatives and then those who come after them." One