Parenting Discipline Styles

When it comes to disciplinary practices, child experts and psychologists tend to discuss three parenting styles: authoritarian, permissive and authoritative. According to Dr. Tanya Byron in her book "Your Toddler: Month by Month," these parenting styles represent varying combinations of control and warmth. "A healthy combination of warmth and control," writes Byron, "results in assertive, or authoritative, parenting that will give your toddler clear and consistent boundaries." A fourth parenting style, disengaged, is sometimes discussed as well.

  1. Authoritarian

    • Parents who employ the authoritarian style show a high degree of control and low warmth. These parents are strict disciplinarians with many rules. Misbehavior is often punished severely with yelling and spanking. While authoritarians reward their children for good behavior, they rarely show warmth and love. These parents believe that rules are necessary for children to remain under control, but children of authoritarians often develop a fear of their parents and may lie or become people-pleasers as a result.

    Permissive

    • The permissive discipline style is the opposite of authoritarian, exhibiting low control and high warmth. Permissive parents worry little about control and give in to their children's demands. There is little structure and few rules in a permissive household, but the permissive parent sees this as loving. Outsiders will often view these children as spoiled, and kids of permissive parents often don't get along with other children because they are used to getting their way. In addition, children raised by a permissive parent can become insecure and lose respect for their parents.

    Authoritative

    • While authoritarian and permissive styles do not teach children healthy ways to manage their emotions, authoritative parenting provides children with choices from which they can learn lessons. The authoritative approach, which is sometimes called democratic discipline, demonstrates high control and high warmth. It is a balance of the previous two styles in which parents set limits, offer emotional support and employ kind but firm discipline. Children are treated with respect and learn responsibility, but they also feel loved and safe.

    Disengaged

    • A disengaged parent, called "neglectful" by some experts, does not provide structure or emotional support. The opposite of authoritative, disengaged parents show low control and low warmth. This parenting style exhibits low expectations and a lack of interest. Children raised by neglectful parents may be at high risk for emotional and behavioral problems, academic difficulties and low self-esteem.

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