How to Control a Disobedient 7-Year-Old

Effectively parenting a 7-year-old means knowing that at this age your child is at the cusp between early and middle childhood. At this time, children are likely to question authority and begin showing signs of disobedience -- especially if you don̵7;t put your foot down early as a parent. Setting boundaries, using the proper discipline and involving your 7-year-old in decision making are all actions that will go far in helping curb disobedience.

Instructions

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      Pick reasonable boundaries in areas where disobedience is common. Present them in easily understood ways. The point is to put your foot down on common actions of disobedience you have not controlled previously. Create family rules focused on those specific acts. Tell your child clearly that you have established a new family rule and that you expect him to follow that rule. Use simple language, such as saying, ̶0;We have a new rule: As a family, we agree to always tell the truth. No more lying is allowed from now on.̶1;

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      Use time-outs and privilege-revoking as consequences to disobedience. Use time-outs to take your child out of environments that have encouraged the disobedience, and use privilege-revoking to let your child know certain behaviors have responsibilities attached. For example, use a time-out when your child doesn̵7;t follow rules during playtime with his peers. Use privilege-revoking when the action and consequence can be logically linked, such as by taking away television privileges when your child breaks your rule of watching TV before doing homework. These techniques are especially effective on children around age 7.

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      Allow your child input in decision-making. Prevent arguments and disobedience by allowing your child some involvement in family decisions. Psychologist John Gottman, author of the book ̶0;Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child,̶1; advises parents to involve their children in decision-making early in childhood, as doing so allows for stronger decision-making skills and a sense of responsibility. For example, if you tend to encounter disobedience at getting your child to bed on time, involve him in setting the family rule for bedtime. You might need to compromise a bit, such as extending her bedtime from 8:30 to 9 p.m., but doing so allows her to feel that ̶0;bedtime̶1; is partly her decision. Gottman says such input can lead to more compliance.

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