The Importance of Understanding Child and Adolescent Behavior

The Drive for Independence

• A child̵7;s primary developmental task is to become independent from her parents. She may express it in different ways, from the toddler̵7;s ̶0;Do it myself!̶1; to the adolescent who rolls her eyes when a parent comments about her dress, makeup or hairstyle. When a toddler lets the parents do everything for her, however, or the teen responds to a comment with a kicking, screaming, rolling-on-the-floor temper tantrum, a parent should be concerned -- as those would not be considered normal, age-appropriate behaviors.

Emotional Separation

• Emotional separation from parents is a process that occurs throughout childhood and well into adolescence. For younger children, especially in the first few years of life when the child is still very dependent on the parents, clinging and crying are normal behavior. A preschooler experiments with separation by running away from the parent and coming back periodically to check that Mom or Dad are still there. By the time adolescence rolls around, your teen is more likely to spend most of her time with her peers or in her room. Understanding these behaviors helps you know it's good to let your toddler fuss when you leave or to give your teen some space.

Reduce Parental Anxiety

• Parents who understand that separation and the drive for independence are normal stages in a child̵7;s development are less likely to be anxious. The helicopter parent who constantly hovers can interfere with normal developmental tasks and prevent a child from learning to become her own person. Understanding the behavior also helps to keep a parent from overreacting when a child tells lies -- a normal behavior for the 4- or 5-year-old, according to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry -- or a pre-teen comes to breakfast with purple eye shadow and a midriff-baring cropped top.

When There's a Problem

• Parents who are knowledgeable about developmental stages are more likely to recognize behavior that signals a problem. Although any toddler may be aggressive at times, when a child constantly hits, bites and kicks, it could be a sign of a behavioral disorder. Teens who lose excessive amounts of weight, become involved in criminal activities or engage in promiscuous sex may be using drugs or have mental health issues. Early recognition of problem behavior allows parents to intervene and get professional help if necessary.