What Are Reasonable Expectations of Behavior in Public Places?

Don't Interfere With Others' Enjoyment or Use

• It is reasonable for parents and others to expect children to behave in a manner that does not interfere with other people's enjoyment or use of a public place. Dr. Adam Benton, an Arkansas Families First child and adolescent psychologist, advocates teaching as a preventative for poor public behavior. Practicing good manners, using inside and outside voices, and learning about sharing space with others at home will help children behave better in public. Before entering a public place, remind children in a specific, friendly manner what behaviors are expected and why they are important. If bringing something to keep a child occupied, make sure it is something quiet and not messy. Teach consideration for others from the very start.

Somebody Has To Clean That

• Learning how their actions affect other people helps children to behave better in public. When out in public, encourage children to notice employees and how much work they have to do, pointing out specific tasks. Help them learn to be more thoughtful about their own behavior in that context. Explain as often as necessary that when they touch glass showcases and doors, if they drop food, or knock something over and break it, somebody has to clean that up. Set a good example by asking for clean-up supplies when a child spills or drops something. Having the child help with the cleanup makes the lesson even more effective. It is reasonable for people to expect children and their parents to respect others and to be responsible for their actions.

Consider Others When Parenting in Public

• Ignoring a tantrum or other disruptive behavior is not appropriate in a public place. It's important ̵1; and reasonable ̵1; to consider others when parenting in public. Prevent Child Abuse Utah advises parents to take a loudly misbehaving child to a place with more privacy, like a rest room or outside, and quietly, firmly tell the child that the behavior is unacceptable and why. Time-out may be required. Fortunately, as Summit Medical Group notes, it's quite portable. The car can work, but so can a bench, curb or sidewalk under direct parental supervision. Dr. Benton tells parents not to hesitate to leave a cart of groceries in the store and go home. If there are perishables in the cart, take it to an employee on the way out, offering a brief explanation and an apology.

Sacrifice is Part of Parenthood

• Prevent Child Abuse Utah suggests not pushing children past reasonable age- and stage-appropriate limits. Avoid trips at high meltdown risk times, such as when they're tired or hungry. The grocery store might have to wait. A child may need more training before he is ready for a nice restaurant. For parents with children, it could be a while before the next concert or play. It is reasonable to expect parents to make sacrifices, forgoing fine dining or performing arts until reliable babysitting is available or their children mature and gain social skills. It is not reasonable to allow a wailing or disruptive child to ruin an experience for everyone within earshot. With consistent effort, however, parents can soon have well-behaved children welcomed almost everywhere.