How to Help Preteens Find a Positive Role Model

Good role models are an important part of growing up. They are examples of correct behavior, pleasant personality and positive lifestyle. Although famous people are highly visible, role models do not have to be rich or famous to exemplify desirable character traits. You can help your child select good role models. Discuss character traits of people you admire. Let your child see you trying to follow your role models' examples.

Instructions

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      Be your child's first role model. You are the one role model over whom you have full control. Your life choices will have a major impact on your child's current and future behavior. You don't have to be perfect to be a good role model. You will make mistakes, you will lose your temper -- but what you do about your errors teaches your child how to cope with his mistakes. If you are caring, honest and consistent, your child is likely to learn those traits from you.

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      Introduce your child to people you know and respect. These might be your own parents, family friends, members of your local church or organization. They might even be your co-workers. Observe your child's reactions carefully. If your child does not want to be around someone, this could simply mean a personality clash or it could mean the adult does something that makes the child feel uncomfortable. Trust your child to evaluate the quality of her relationships with the people around her.

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      Read books with your preteen that have admirable characters. Classic children's fiction, such as "Little Women," "Little Men," Anne of Green Gables," or "The Secret Garden," provides excellent examples of children who are learning how to behave well. Even Mark Twain's rapscallion heroes Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn portray positive values your child can emulate. The American Library Association, Scholastic and similar websites publish book reviews that can help you find books with protagonists with excellent character traits.

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      Highlight media figures who are positive role models. If your child aspires toward acting or admires show business personalities, introduce work by artists who have maintained personal integrity throughout their career, such as James Stewart. Point out that actors are real people, and that they are not the same person as the character they play in a movie or television show.

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      Encourage participation in youth organizations that focus on service, such as 4H, Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts or Boys and Girls Clubs. Give as much of your personal time as you can manage to the organization. That provides you with a great opportunity to get to know the adult leaders and to learn how they work with the preteens in their care. Discuss organization policies with your child and encourage him to discuss with you his observations of which leaders best exemplify those ideals.

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