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Terminating the Childcare Relationship

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Terminating the Childcare RelationshipAny number of circumstances may cause a family to decide to end its relationship with the childcare provider. The decision may not be because of a problem with the relationship. The family may decide to relocate, or one of the parents may wish to quit the corporate rat race in order to stay home with the kids. Maybe the caregiver is moving home, getting married, or graduating from school. Whether the relationship with the care­giver ends on good terms or bad, the family should take steps to make the transition to life without the caregiver as smooth as possible for everyone.

Put It in Writing
Regardless of the type of childcare, when the parents wish to terminate the services of the provider, they should put the termination in writing. The form of the writing may depend upon the particular childcare arrangement and the circumstances surrounding the decision to terminate. Childcare arrangements that end on a positive note require less detail than relationships that are terminated for cause. If you are terminating the relationship due to misconduct, abuse, or negligence by the caregiver, you should state that in your notice.

If it is a matter of leaving a day care center due to a move to a new city, a simple paragraph giving notice of your child's last day at the center should suffice. However, be aware of notice policies that your childcare provider may have. Typically, centers require two to four weeks' advance notice of terminating a child's enrollment. The center may ask you to pay tuition up front (upon enrollment) to cover that notice period. If you remove your child from the facility before the expiration of the enrollment period, you will forfeit the payment.

Even if you have hired a nanny who never bothers to show up for her first day of work, you should send a written termination notice stating it is effective immediately. This will avoid the possibility of the nanny later claiming that any sort of payment or benefits are owed to her as your employee.

In-Home Care Terminations
Ending in-home care arrangements can prove to be a bit trickier, especially if the split is not amicable. With outside care, all you have to do is remove your child from the facility. An in-home caregiver is, to some degree, entrenched in your household, especially when the caregiver is a live-in one. Not only do you have to end the relationship, you have to be sure that the caregiver packs up and leaves. If you have relocated a nanny from out of state, or if you have an au pair from another country, you may even be obligated to contribute to the costs she incurs in returning home, such as airfare. If you go through an agency for your in-home childcare, be sure to find out exactly what your liability is regarding termination before the caregiver arrives.

When ending a live-in caregiver situation, you may not want to leave the nanny alone in your home once you have told her you are terminating her employment. For that reason, you should try to time the termination so that you are able to be home for several days to supervise her departure. If that is not possible, you could arrange for another person that you trust to be present in your home while the nanny gathers her belongings.

It is possible that your childcare provider will not have the means to return home or even to secure lodging right away. In such a case, you might make the departure go more smoothly if you offer to put her up in a local hotel for a night or two. Even if you do not feel the nanny deserves that consideration, it might prevent her causing a scene or other trouble. This will make your life easier, but more than anything, it will benefit your children if you can avoid conflict as much as possible.

Problems the In-Home Caregiver Can Create
There have been cases where disgruntled nannies have retaliated for being fired by notifying the state department of children's services or labor board—falsely—that the former employer either harassed the nanny or abused the children. One of the best ways to avoid the nightmare scenario of a child abuse accusation is to keep complete records. You will want to keep a log containing not only the nanny's job performance during the course of her employment, but also of any injuries that your child may have suffered during her employment. Include dates and names of anyone else who would have personal knowledge of any incidents, either of injury to your child or misconduct by the nanny. Put any complaint you may have about the nanny's performance in writing. If the nature of the complaint is serious enough that a repeat occurrence would cause you to fire the nanny, be sure to put the complaint in the form of a disciplinary warning. Give a copy of the warning to your nanny. Also, have her sign another copy with an acknowledgement that she has received the written warning.

Claims of Sexual Harassment
To keep safe from a charge of sexual harassment by the nanny, take great care to maintain your relationship with her on a professional level. Sometimes, especially with a live-in nanny or a working relationship in which the nanny is considered one of the family, the line between familiarity and impropriety can be a bit blurry.

In general, the federal laws that prohibit sexual harassment apply only to employers with at least 15 employees; therefore, they will not apply to a nanny situation. However, some states have human rights laws of their own that make essentially all employers liable for harassing conduct of a sexual nature. Examples of conduct that may amount to sexual harassment include: overt sexual advances; obscene comments; language or jokes (verbal or writ­ten); unwanted physical contact, such as grabbing, rubbing against, or other touching; personal questions of a sexual nature; and, the display of obscene or pornographic material in the work area of the employee.

State laws against sexual harassment usually also prohibit retaliation by an employer if the employee reports harassment to the proper state agency. Typical penalties for a finding of liability for sexual harassment are fines, restitution for lost wages or benefits, reinstatement if the employee has been wrongfully terminated, and punitive damages. The safe course of action, if you have any doubt, is to completely avoid the above types of behavior around the nanny.

Page 2Giving References
At some point after ending your professional relationship with the child­care provider, another family that is considering hiring her to care for their children may contact you. Even if your parting with the nanny was on good terms, it is possible that you had complaints with her job performance that you never addressed with her, or that you did bring to her attention but she never corrected. This situation might make it uncomfortable for you to give a glowing recommendation of her to another potential employer, even though you do not wish to speak poorly of her.

There is nothing wrong with stating your opinion of her abilities as a nanny. In fact, consider the situation from the other family's point of view. They are in the same boat that you were in when you were deciding who should care for your children. If there was an issue with her childcare capabilities, surely a family thinking about offering her a job would appreciate hearing about it. It is not necessary to present a laundry list of faults that you believe your nanny has. Simply make a general statement of what her professional shortcomings were and note that this is simply your opinion. Of course, if there were actual instances of mis­conduct on her part, then it would be most helpful to the potential employer if you related the circumstances surrounding the event.

Termination by the Childcare Provider
Sometimes it will be the caregiver who will end the relationship with the family. A nanny may decide to leave for a more desirable position. A family day care home may close because the owner decides to pursue a different business. Day care centers typically have a procedure for terminating a child's enrollment if the family's account is overdue for more than a certain period of time, such as fifteen or thirty days. Typically, they also will be able to expel a child who chronically misbehaves, or who poses a danger to other children or staff. Most day care providers will ask you at the outset to sign an agreement that you will abide by their policies. Usually, the policies will give them a wide-ranging ability to end the business relationship with your family upon giving sufficient notice.

The real issue if the childcare provider terminates you, therefore, is not whether they can do it, but whether you have a remedy if they do. Legally, of course, you cannot force a nanny or au pair to continue working for you. As for a day care facility, you could try to argue a cause of action for breach of contract, but unless you have suffered some real financial damages from the termination, you are likely to be out of luck. Most families whose childcare arrangement is terminated suffer inconvenience, at the very most.

Your Child's Reaction
Whatever your own feelings about the ending of your business relationship with the childcare provider, do not ignore the effect the termination may have on your child. Even if you dislike the nanny or day care worker, be careful not to underestimate how much she means to your child. In some cases, such as with an au pair, the length of the caregiver relationship is determined before employment even begins. You can help your child, from the beginning of the childcare relationship, to adjust to the eventual end of the caregiver's tenure. In other cases, the association may end abruptly. Either way, you should prepare your child for the day when your family and the caregiver part ways.

Of course, if the reason you are terminating the childcare provider is that your child does not like her, he or she likely will be happy to see her go, and you will have no adjustment issues. However, a child can become fond of a caregiver fairly quickly, and if this is the case in your family, you need to be sensitive to your child's attitude toward the termination. Not only could your child be saddened to see the nanny leave (or to be removed from the outside day care setting, as the case may be), but he or she may actually come to feel insecure by the upheaval. He or she may believe that, since this person-a person he or she cared about-was taken from him or her so easily, other loved ones could be sent away as well.

Depending on your child's age and the circumstances of the caregiver's departure, you should try to explain to your child your reasons for ending the relationship. If your separation from the caregiver is friendly, see if she would be willing to keep up communication with your family. If she will remain in the area, perhaps you and your child can get together with her on occasion, at least until your child adapts to the new situation.

Set Up a Replacement
However you decide to end the caregiver relationship, make sure that you have a reliable replacement provider for your child ahead of time, if at all possible. Do not be surprised if your child is resistant to the idea of a new caregiver at first. If it took him or her some time to become comfortable with the former caregiver, expect it to take even longer to warm up to the new one. Even an infant can easily show displeasure with a new caregiver and routine. With older children, it is important to allow them to voice their feelings about the situation. This will give them some sense of control over their lives, which in turn will help them along in the process of readjustment.