How to Identify Hot Buttons

Hot buttons are those pesky little triggers that drive you over the edge. Before you even know what happened-you're behaving like screaming meme. Identifying hot buttons is good preventative anger management so that you don't look like a bully. When you recognize hot buttons, you can unplug them before seeing red or making a fool of yourself. Here are six ways to identify pesky hot buttons and unplug them once and for all.

Instructions

    • 1

      Watch Out for Overreacting.
      When you're agitated and overreacting to a small event, take a step back and keep cool. Before you punch a hole in the wall or throw a vase across the room, go for a walk until your mind stops racing. Then before you open your mouth and spout words you'll soon regret, answer this question: What is upsetting me?

    • 2

      Look Inward.
      Everyday events can trigger emotionally charged reactions that appear out of the blue. You can avoid arguments if you first look at your upset. Emotional triggers may be tied to past rejections, hurts, fears and unmet needs. Your hot buttons can be brought on by stress, depression or worry. When anger is out of proportion to the incident, the tendency is to point your finger and blame the other person. If you're honest with yourself, you may find that the problem is in you and that's good news because then you can fix it.

    • 3

      Tie Up Loose Ends,
      Emotional loose ends are those nagging unexpressed resentments, hurts and unresolved conflicts that stand between you and another person or your beloved. Lashing out make things worse. When you tie up emotional loose ends that set you off, you pave the way for peace. Tying up loose ends keeps your relationships safe, calm and thriving. Are there past hurts and disappointment that you need to address? Are you carrying a grudge? Do you need to apologize and make amends? Do you need to let go and forgive?

    • 4

      Accentuate the Positive,
      When you look for the positive, you start from a position that a mistake wasn't caused by intentions to hurt you. You understand that we all make mistakes. The other person has triggers too.

    • 5

      Assume the Very Best,
      There are complicated reasons why any particular behavior occurs.The person who pushed your buttons may be having a bad day because their sensitive buttons were set off. Before you assume the worst, imagine the best. Take a deep breath, inquire about what is going on and wait for an explanation. Chances are when you understand what's troubling the other person, you'll feel compassion.

    • 6

      Make a Generous Offer.
      When buttons are pushed, angry fevers run high and the tendency is to get stubborn, defensive and smug. Hot buttons get overactivated when you won't back down. If you're convinced that you're right and everyone else is at fault, nothing can be accomplished. A stalemate doesn't allow for resolution. There is no progress if you refuse to budge. Be the hero by bridging the gap. Reach out and say, "You might be right."

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