How to Stop My Child From Stealing
Finding out your child is stealing can be devastating. Your first reaction might be to fly right off the handle, but as upsetting as it is, there are many factors to consider before deciding how to approach the matter. Your child's age should be the first consideration, but his temperament, home life and level of stress may also come into play. Additionally, consider whether the stealing is an isolated incident or something ongoing before deciding how to handle the situation.
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Start with Age
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A very young child has little concept of what stealing means. Children under the age of 2 think ownership means if they can grab it, it's theirs. Guidance and reinforcement are the best tools for teaching a child of this age that things belong to people and taking them isn't okay. Children between 2 and 4 are beginning to to understand ownership, though they may still think ownership is transferable when they put their hands on something. Children older than 4-years-old, especially teenagers, are typically aware of ownership and understand what stealing means, so the behavior is more serious.
Instill Understanding
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From a young age, teach your child what ownership means. When cleaning up siblings' toys, for instance, play a game of "whose is this?" When the child takes something that belongs to someone else, get him to empathize by asking how he would feel if someone had taken his things. If he says, "But it's mine," as preschoolers do, correct his thinking by saying, "You may wish it was yours. But who does it really belong to?" When a child finds something that doesn't belong to him and returns it, praise him lavishly.
Make Them Own Up
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Sometimes the embarrassment of confession is a powerful motivator. When an older child or teenager steals, have him return the item to whomever it belongs to. If it was stolen from a store, you can either have him return the item or, if it's been used, have him apologize to the manager and pay for it. Bear in mind that a manager may not accept an apology from a teenager. He can press charges, and he has the right to. If money was stolen from a family member, Kid's Health recommends giving him a chance to pay the money back. In any scenario, impress upon your child that stealing is wrong and hurts other people.
Search for Clues
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Repeated stealing is a red flag. It could be a cry for attention. It could be the child has become insensitive to the gravity of offense. It could be he finds it hard to stop or feels compelled to steal. If your child continues to steal despite your attempts to correct the behavior, it's good idea to seek the help of a professional, whether it be a psychologist, your family doctor or a guidance counselor. Together, you can get at the root of the problem. Your child may be stealing for a number of reasons, including anger, boredom, resentment, anxiety or simply wanting money and not having it. A teen who steals money can be encouraged to find work. Not only will it give him money of his own, he'll also learn the value of that money. For other children, counseling or routine monitoring by parents may help solve the problem.
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