How to Apologize to a Child

Perhaps it's hard to face, but as parents, we're not perfect. We make mistakes. We mess up. We're hard on our children when we know we should have been soft. We're impatient when we should have been kind. We snap when we should have been understanding. We rush when we should have slowed down. We get angry when we should have been loving. We are careless and hurt the ones we love. If you owe your children an apology-here is how to do it.

Instructions

    • 1

      Be willing to be wrong. Not everything is worth being right about. All parents make parenting mistakes-but it is never a mistake to apologize when you blow it. You will blow it. But be assured that children are very forgiving.

    • 2

      Focus. Clear your schedule. Clear your mind and be present. Stop what you're doing and give your undivided attention to your child. Speak honestly and directly: "I know I hurt you by yelling and I am so sorry."

    • 3

      Deliver a specific statement about your behavior: "I am sorry that I snapped at you. I had a stressful day and I took it out on you."

    • 4

      Be prepared to listen. If your child is angry then he deserves to be heard. Let your child express the feelings. Listen respectfully to what your child has to say. Chances are you will learn about yourself and your child in the process.

    • 5

      Apologize to everyone who witnessed the fallout. If you want your children to apologize when they're out of line, you can begin by being a good teacher. An apology can mean everything. If you've snapped at your wife and your children were hurt or afraid, apologize to them too. Everyone who was affected by your mistakes deserves a sincere apology: "I behaved badly and I am sorry I dumped it on everyone."

    • 6

      Make a pledge out loud. Tell the person what you intend to do differently: "I need to take a time out when I am stressed." Ask for their assistance: "Would you be willing to give me a time alone when I come home from work?" Make a sincere effort to learn from your parenting mistakes. Don't beat yourself up though. Apologize and take action to correct your behavior. There's power in your apology and your self-forgiveness.

    • 7

      Ask for forgiveness. Repeat what you are sorry about. Show it in your tone of voice and words: "I am so sorry that I took my stress out on you." Ask for forgiveness: "I know I was wrong when I snapped; will you forgive me?"

    • 8

      Say: "Thank you, sweetie." You've both learned something powerful by this apology and forgiveness. Be happy about that.

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