How to Build Up Self Esteem in Children

Realize the importance of self-esteem. Self-esteem is a critical factor in raising a healthy child. Children with a healthy appreciation for their own worth will act with great confidence, take on challenges and show a willingness to learn and embrace new things. Children with low self-esteem will be less likely to reach out to others, shy away from new experiences and opportunities and may lash out against authority.

According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, parents play an important role in helping children gain greater self-esteem. The department's website cites numerous positive attributes to children with good self esteem, including:

• Acting independently
• Assuming responsibility
• Taking pride in accomplishments
• Tolerating frustration
• Handling peer pressure appropriately
• Attempting new challenges and tasks
• Handling positive and negative emotions more evenly
• Offering assistance to others

Give encouragement. Sometimes, according to the department's website, building positive self-esteem could be as easily as saying "great job," "congratulations," and "way to go." Encouragement, praise, positive discipline and guidance can go a long way to helping a child build self-esteem. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services website suggests these things for parents working to build their child's self esteem:

• Praise often. Parents must take advantage of opportunities to tell their children they are doing things right and demonstrating positive character traits. By praising them and showing them you are pleased with her actions, it will let her know how to get your attention in a positive way.

• Teach positive self-statements. Counter your child's inaccurate or negative beliefs with positive reinforcement and positive ways to look at himself.

• Do not ridicule or shame. Ridicule and shame will not only force a child to shut down but discourage them from doing anything where they believe it will elicit the same reaction. It can also lead to emotional disorders.

• Allow your child to solve problems. Praise him when he does solve them. Take time to answer questions and gently lead him in the right direction, but don't solve it for him. Help them think of alternative options, but allow him to own the problem and the answer.

• Laugh a lot. Show your children you can laugh at yourself and your make mistakes as well. Thus, they won't be hesitant to make their own mistakes, laugh at them and find the solutions. They will also learn that life should not be all serious, and some teasing is fun. Your sense of humor is important to your child's well-being.

Additional tips. FamilyEducation.com also offers tips for parents to help build self-esteem, including:

• Make sure your child feels special and appreciated. Make sure when you are reading with them or playing with them, not to answer the phone or be interrupted. This will send a message to your children that they are your No. 1 priority at that time.

• Do not compare siblings. Each of your children is unique. Comparing them could force them to try to reach standards that are unattainable while at the same time minimizing their own unique strengths and talents. Praise the individual talents of each child.

• Provide opportunities for your children to help and learn. If you child wants to help with cooking, give them different chores to do. In that, they begin to take ownership in what is happening around them and they feel they are contributing in a positive way. If your child is a good artist, display his or her artwork at home or at work.

Make sure your child learns about available options and explores those options. The website Childdevelopmentinfo.com says: "A child who has only one friend and loses that friend is friendless. However, a child who has many friends and loses one, still has many. This same principle holds true in many different areas. Whenever you think there is only one thing which can satisfy you, you limit your potential for being satisfied. The more you help your children realize that there are many options in every situation, the more you increase their potential for satisfaction."

The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services' Caring for Every Child's Mental Health Campaign can give parents additional information on self-esteem issues. It is part of the Comprehensive Community Mental Health Services Program for Children and Their Families of the Federal Center for Mental Health Services. Parents and caregivers who wish to learn more about mental well-being in children can call 1-800-789-2647 or follow the link to the National Mental Health Information Center in the Resources section of this article to download a free publications catalog.