Ways of Teaching Modest Dress to Young Girls

Create Your Guidelines And Stick to Them

• Sit down with your daughter and tell her what you consider modest dress and what she's allowed to wear out in public. After all, your daughter isn't going to know what's modest unless someone explicitly explains the difference between inappropriate and appropriate attire. For example, tell your daughter she isn't allowed to wear skirts that fall above her knee or shirts that don't cover her entire midriff. As you talk about your expectations regarding her wardrobe, you might also talk about the kinds of messages certain types of clothing send, suggests Shari Braendel, author of "Good Girls Don't Have to Dress Bad." Write down your guidelines and post them in your daughter's room so she can reference them as she's selecting her clothing. Remind her of these rules when you're shopping for clothes, too.

Model Appropriate Dress

• Your daughter likely looks up to you and modeling modest attire is a powerful way to show her what's acceptable and what's not. Wear the same types of modest clothes you expect your daughter to wear. Take a look at what toys your daughter plays with, as well. Barbie and similar dolls often wear clothes that are too revealing. By letting little girls play with them, it's essentially sending the message that this is an acceptable way for girls to dress, according to Diane E. Levin, Ph.D. and Jean Kilbourne, Ed.D., authors of "So Sexy So Soon."

Give Her Control Of Certain Aspects

• Growing girls long for independence and freedom and getting themselves dressed is one way that they try to grab that. Your clothes rules should be nonnegotiable, but you can give her the power to make her own decisions elsewhere in her life. For example, take pictures of all the approved outfits she can choose from and keep them in her room. Tell her that she can pick any outfit from these pictures that she wants. Encourage her to accessorize how she wants, as well. Let her choose what shoes or earrings she wears or let her choose from some of your jewelry.

Discuss Getting Attention More Appropriately

• Immodest clothes sexualize little girls too soon, according to the American Psychological Association. One example is the Jours Apres Lunes-type underwear created by designer Sophie Moren for little girls but modeled after adult lingerie. The ads for the underwear feature little girls in their underwear in sexy adult poses. While you don't need to talk to little girls about what sexualization means, discuss seeking approval based on characteristics other than clothing and appearance. Tell her that she'll get more positive attention if she focuses on sharing her talents and intelligence rather than showing off her body to get attention. In other words, girls need to learn that they have value outside of what they look like and what clothes they wear.