Broken Families & Child Behavior

Divorce or separation can bring about uncharacteristic emotions and behaviors---this is especially true for children. Divorce-related stress is common in children. There is a grieving process, and children find it difficult to cope with their emotions. Verbal expression is difficult; feelings can come out through behaviors that can be difficult and challenging.

  1. Birth to Two Years of Age

    • Infant distress is recognizable through moods of fussiness and disturbed eating and sleeping patterns. Toddlers can revert to separation anxiety and become clingy, fearful or withdrawn.

    Two to Four Years of Age

    • Distress signs in this age group are marked by verbal outbursts of anger, power struggles and tantrums. Children may also regress to earlier behaviors such as bed wetting, thumb sucking and needing to be held.

    Five to 12 Years of Age

    • School age children may show signs of withdrawal and have a difficult time concentrating in school. Emotions can range from sadness to anger. Difficulty with friendships and aggressive behaviors are not uncommon. There is a tendency for children to develop physical symptoms of stress, such as stomachaches and headaches.

    12 to 15 Years of Age

    • Preteens and early adolescents have a difficult time with parent loyalty and can often pit one parent against the other in an attempt to control the situation. They may refuse to live with one parent or another. Children in this age group may become defiant with moodiness and depression setting in. Escapism through drinking, drugs and sexual activity may arise.

    16 to 18 Years of Age

    • An unstable home may derail the normal steps toward independence in this age group. Children may experience depression and loss of interest in school, social activities and life in general. They may get into problems with the law, drop out of school and attach themselves to the wrong peer groups.

    Helping a Child through the Stress of Divorce

    • Talk to your child, invite questions and help him to express his thoughts and feelings. Be supportive and acknowledge his right to grieve. Seek help from a family or child therapist should emotions and negative behaviors become a real concern. Stay positive. Most behavior issues are temporary; 80 percent of children of divorce go on to lead successful, well-adjusted lives.

    • An article reviewed by Mary L. Gavin MD states that children over the age of 2 should get an average of one hour of daily exercise for good health. Children are spending more time in front of the television and computer than in the past, resulting in
    • No one is perfect, including you. You know it and your tween knows it, which is why you need to get into the habit of apologizing to your tween when it is called for. Offering your sincere apology to your preteen doesn’t mean you are no longer
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