How to Stop Defiant Behavior

Parenting is all about guiding children into adulthood and teaching them what they need along the way. Whether the child is a toddler or a teenager, defiant behavior should not be tolerated. While punishment is part of the solution, getting to the root of the problem is crucial. To stop defiant behavior, be consistent, firm and loving. The tactics to use vary considerably due to the variations of ages and stages of children.

Things You'll Need

  • Chair
  • Paper
  • Stickers

Instructions

    • 1

      Put a toddler in timeout. A defiant toddler is one that is biting, hitting or just not listening. A timeout in a designated area will teach her that the behavior is unacceptable. Tell the child that her behavior is not OK and that you are taking her for a timeout. Place her on a chair, or bottom stair, for 1 to 2 minutes only. Timeouts that are longer than that are not effective for toddlers. If she gets up during that time, calmly place her back on the timeout chair or step and restart the time.

    • 2

      Reduce outside activities. One reason that school-aged children go through defiant stages is because they are overscheduled. Children need downtime. A child may start behaving badly as a way to rebel against parents. He can feel controlled and not enjoy himself. If the defiant child is in multiple activities, start by reducing them one by one and see how that works on stopping the behavior.

    • 3

      Make a behavior chart. This is an effective way to stop defiant behavior in school-aged children. It also incorporates positive reinforcement when the child does well. Make a chart with boxes for each day of the week. Place stickers, such as stars, on the days that the child does well. Decide how many days per week the child must behave well before she receives some type of award. Be sure to praise her when she does well.

    • 4

      Take away privileges from a defiant teen. If he drives, take away his car for a week or so. Grounding a teen is another option.

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