Types of Boundaries in Families

Household Rules

• One of the most common types of family boundaries are household rules. Rules should be decided early on and adapted as your family grows and changes. You can have a general set of rules that every member adheres to and a secondary set of rules that complements the lifestyle of certain members.

  For instance, every family member must do weekly chores and arrive at the dinner table on time. However, older children may have a curfew and younger children may have early bedtimes. It's important to have consequences if a family member falls outside of the boundaries. These consequences should be clearly established ahead of time to avoid confusion and arguments.

Moral Guidance

• Moral guidance can be considered an unwritten truthfulness to which all members must be faithful. This creates trustworthiness and honesty within your household. Family members are expected to practice kindness, tell the truth, express love and forgiveness and avoid dishonest acts such as stealing and hurting others.

  Teaching your children right from wrong begins with leading by example. If you practice these moral guidelines yourself and discuss them regularly as a family, eventually all family members will use these behaviors automatically.

Obedience

• Children should always understand their position in the house and in the world. They should view adults as guiders and protectors. If children are allowed to see themselves as equals, they can develop respect issues. Teach your children to listen to adults and authority and to follow orders.

  They need these boundaries so they can learn whom to trust and who will protect them. It also prepares them to go out into the world, where others are not as ready to accept disrespectful behavior.

Abiding Laws

• Rules may be easy to follow within your household, but once your family members step out into the world they have to live by the rules of everyone else. Teaching children right from wrong helps them to follow rules and order outside of your home.

  It's important to discuss the laws of your city and your country so children understand that certain actions have serious consequences. Teach them about authority figures, including police and firefighters, as well as other civil protectors such as the military. The more your children understand different types of boundaries in their world, the more secure and happier they will feel.