How Do I Get My Children to Listen to Me & Respect Me?

When you were pregnant, you probably imagined all the milestones and fun times you'd experience with your children. You probably didn't factor in the days when you wouldn't enjoy being a mother at all, however. Parenting is hard work, especially if you haven't practiced healthy, age-appropriate discipline on a regular basis. Addressing behavioral problems as soon as possible will help restore your role as the adult in charge. It will also command your children's respect and bring some peace and joy back to your family routine.

Instructions

    • 1

      Act like a parent, not a friend. It's your job to establish your role as the authority figure. If you always act like a buddy to your kids, they will resent you when you have to step in and play the role of disciplinarian.

    • 2

      Follow through with your punishments and avoid idle threats. If you never enforce your punishments or follow through with your warnings, you encourage your child to repeat the unwanted behavior. In time, your child will learn that your threats don't carry weight.

    • 3

      Talk instead of yelling. Explain why your child's behavior isn't appropriate. If your child doesn't respond, move on to a warning. If he still doesn't respond, place him in a time out for one minute per each year of his age. If he gets up from the time out, place him back in without communicating with him. Continue doing so until he serves his time out.

    • 4

      Revoke privileges if your child is too old for a time out. Make your rules and expectations clear to your teen children, for instance, and discuss the consequences of inappropriate behaviors. Make sure the consequences aren't life sentences, however. If you ground your child for life, he has no incentive to change his behavior because if he's already going to be in trouble for life, he might as well do what he wants.

    • 5

      Share the discipline equally between partners. If you always pass the discipline off to the other parent, your children won't see you as someone they have to listen to or respect. Communicate with your partner so you both dole out discipline fairly, consistently and equally.

    • 6

      Plan enough structured play and activity time so that your children don't act out due to frustration or boredom. Participating in one-on-one time with your children will also prevent them from engaging in misbehavior designed to get your attention.

    • 7

      Acknowledge your child's feelings. Let your child voice his concerns. Practice being a good listener so your child knows that you take his feelings into account when making decisions. Don't dwell on a bad moment. Talk about it, hug and move on.

    • 8

      Keep your hands off. Spanking sends mixed messages about appropriate ways to deal with conflict and teaches children to respond to problems with violence. Spanking also does little to teach children about proper behavior.

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