How to Turn Your Child's Attitude Around

Preparation

• 1

  Determine the type of behavior you want to change. A "bad attitude" is vague. Focus on the behavior and not your child. Consider whether the negative behavior or characteristic is selfishness, ungratefulness, back-talking or complaining.

• 2

  Research when this negative behavior is occurring. Talk with other caregivers, including teachers, babysitters, other parents and coaches. Try to see whether the attitude is triggered by certain events that might be causing the child discomfort, such as spending time with an unengaged parent who is not involved in his life or a bully at school.

• 3

  Write down how you have responded to the negative behavior in the past. How you respond to your child's behavior can have dramatic effect on whether it continues. Also, you won't know how to change the behavior in the future if you don't acknowledge, or remember, how you have reacted to behavior in the past.

Make a Plan

• 4

  Discuss the plan that you want to implement. The system include a series of checks and balances in which kids are rewarded for positive behavior or disciplined for negative behaviors. Kids might lose privileges until their behavior starts to change. You might choose a positive reinforcement system in which kids receive extra rewards such as extra computer, game or family time after showing positive behaviors. Another option is to have your child sign a contract setting out the behavior you expect and consequences for violation of the contract.

• 5

  Connect consequences to behavior. For example, if your child grumbles about homework and neglects to do it, set the alarm clock early the next morning so she can finish in time. The consequences should be fair and fit the infraction.

• 6

  Give your child simple directions. You don't have to explain yourself or nag -- just simply say what you want.

• 7

  Reverse role-play. Have your child be the parent while you revert to the child role, and then act out a behavior that she is guilty of in a realistic manner. Sometimes a child might not realize what his behavior looks like until he sees someone else doing it.

Follow Up

• 8

  React in a consistent manner. Kids need to be able to predict the natural consequences of their behavior.

• 9

  Prepare a mental script of how to react the next time if you do not respond according to plan. Just as you will give your child an opportunity to correct his behavior, you have the same right to make a mistake and do better next time.

• 10

  Refuse to engage. If your child tries to egg you on, simply repeat the request and follow-up with the consequence.

• 11

  Track your child's behavior. Write notes or use a calendar to record your child's progress. Acknowledge that your child might have a bad attitude or a bad day on occasion. Give your child credit for the positive changes that she has made.