What Makes Parents Yell?

Frustration

• Many times, parents yell at their kids because they are frustrated with their behavior. Maybe they aren't listening to repeated requests to head to the car for the ride to school or they don't put their laundry in the basket day after day. At these times, yelling might seem like the only way to get your kids to do what you are asking them to do. Sometimes you might even yell if you're frustrated about other things, like work or car trouble. Yelling tells your kids that you aren't in control, advises the online resource Empowering Parents.

Alternative to Spanking

• Most parents feel that spanking is not socially acceptable, according to a 2009 "The New York Times" article. When you get overwhelmed or feel that your child needs discipline, yelling might seem like an alternative that won't hurt your kid. True, it doesn't physically hurt your child to yell at him, but shouting at your child can damage his self-esteem and make him feel rejected, notes Ronald P. Rohner, who directs the Ronald and Nancy Rohner Center for the Study of Interpersonal Acceptance and Rejection. Spanking your child is generally discouraged by most experts in child care and development, but yelling isn't a healthy alternative either.

Anger

• As a parent, you're patience is probably tested on a daily basis. When you yell at your child because he colored on the wall or damaged the couch with a pencil it's because you're angry at his actions. Letting your child have it by screaming at him can momentarily make you feel better and you might feel like he's learning never to do it again. Yelling at your child makes him feel bad about himself and doesn't teach him not to misbehave. Not shouting doesn't mean you're letting your child off the hook, says Dr. Melanie A. Fernandez of the Child Mind Institute. It simply means you're choosing to display your anger in constructive ways that your child can learn from.

Getting Attention

• Getting your child's attention is sometimes difficult, say when he's watching television or playing a computer game. After repeated attempts to get him to come to the dinner table, you might yell at him to get his attention. Since he truly may not have heard you calling him, the sudden shouting might make him feel like you're upset for no reason. This can make him defensive and angry, in which case he might yell back at you, start an argument or simply refuse to eat dinner with the family. The conflict is unnecessary, and can be avoided if you walk into the next room, tap your child's shoulder and let him know that it's time to eat.