How to Raise a Strong Willed Child

Effective parenting requires adjusting your tactics to fit the individual needs of your children. Realizing that children won't always readily submit to your wishes is essential to understanding your child and correcting behavioral problems. This is especially important when raising a strong-willed child, as your patience and consistency can help provide the discipline and structure your child needs.

Instructions

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      Make an honest effort to understand his reasoning. Strong-willed children often act out when they feel misunderstood or ignored. Explain that although you might not always agree with him, you're willing to listen to him. Encourage him to communicate his feelings rather than bottling them inside or using them as excuses to undermine your authority. Identifying with your child's point of view can make your response to his behaviors more effective.

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      Set firm limits with a strong-willed child. Explain why rules are necessary along with the consequences for being disobedient. Caving into pressure from temper tantrums and meltdowns only empowers her to continue these negative behaviors. Establish ground rules for receiving rewards and punishments to eliminate confusion during enforcement time. Consider using a behavior chart to promote positive behavior in a strong-willed child.

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      Encourage rule compliance without trampling his spirit. Realize that your role as a parent isn't to "break" your child, but to refine her behaviors. Encourage him to use his strong-willed nature for positive activities such as participating in sports or volunteering with civic organizations.

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      Refrain from labeling your child with unflattering titles including "difficult" and "problem child". These labels can have a negative impact on her self-esteem and behavior. For example, strong-willed children might act more negatively to retain these labels or to test your weakened will.

    • 5

      Pick your battles wisely. Letting a strong-willed child "win" small battles can help eliminate arguments about issues that are more important. This can be done by giving him limited choices and by limiting your use of the word "no." Examples include letting him choose his daily outfit from three pre-approved options and asking him to meet specific requirements before approving requests.

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