Children Modeling Aggressive Behavior at Home

Causes

• Sometimes aggressive behaviors happen because a child hasn't developed appropriate self-control. This is common in young children, but might persist and appear in older kids too. Other times, aggression might occur because a child is angry, upset or scared and doesn't know how to express her emotions. Some kids become aggressive because they witness aggression. Children who think of aggressive behavior as a normal part of everyday life are more likely to engage in it themselves, according to psychologist Albert Bandura, who developed social learning theory based on the idea that seeing violence increases violent tendencies.

Aggressive Behaviors

• Occasional isolated aggression probably isn't cause for alarm, but if it happens often, you might need to get help. Common aggressive behaviors include slapping, hitting, biting, kicking, spitting, grabbing, pinching and screaming, according to a report by the University of Nebraska -- Lincoln Extension. Threatening and teasing are other forms of aggression that some kids use. It might go unnoticed because it isn't physical, but it should never be ignored if it happens regularly. If you are concerned or your child continues to be aggressive despite your attempts to stop it, talk to his pediatrician about professionals who can help you.

Discipline for Aggression

• One of the best ways to keep a child from acting aggressively is for parents to model nonaggressive behavior. Show your child how to behave when she's angry or upset by staying calm, suggests the University of Nebraska -- Lincoln Extension. Removing your child from the setting is also effective, adds the Empowering Parents website. If she's punching her brother because he made fun of her new shoes, lead her away from the room or ask her to sit at the table or stand against the wall. This helps refocus your child's anger and can help her get control. Set clear and consistent rules regarding aggression so your child knows what to expect.

Tips

• Sometimes positive reinforcement works better than punishments. If you see your child playing nicely or treating someone kindly despite being mad, praise him and tell him how proud it makes you. This makes him feel good and motivates him to do the same next time. Talk to your child and remind him of the rules and expectations before you get into a circumstance that has resulted in aggressive behavior in the past. For example, if playing with a cousin always upsets him and he reacts with aggression, talk about better ways he can handle his anger before he gets together with his cousin.