How to Teach Siblings to do Good Deeds for Each Other

Help each child appreciate his differences and his own value, to avoid squabbling and competition for your affection and attention. Avoid comparing one child to another. No good deeds will take place when your children are in the throes of sibling rivalry. If conflicts are taking place regardless, try to get to the root of the problem. If your kids are rivaling for your attention even when you're not making comparisons, try to set aside some one-on-one time for each child every day. When there are no longer resentments building up, siblings will be more likely to appreciate one another and act kindly.

Model the behavior you would like your kids to exhibit. If you̵7;d like them to do nice things for each other, act in a similar manner in your own relationships.

Role play to teach your children to see a situation from a different perspective. You can use recent squabbles for the activity; once the kids have cooled off, help them take turns playing each other̵7;s role in the dispute and brainstorm ways to handle the situation better in the future.

Teach your children how to agree to disagree. Differences are inevitable; two kids won't agree on everything all the time, but it doesn't have to become an all-out screaming match every time there is a disagreement. Teach them to listen to each other̵7;s perspective; and when no compromise or negotiation can be made, avoid name-calling, shouting or physical fighting.

Praise your children when you catch them in acts of kindness, compassion or empathy. Whether the acts are directed toward a sibling, friend, neighbor or other family member, your praise will help your children make connections between their actions and your response, thus increasing the likelihood of similar behavior toward their siblings in the future. For a more tangible system of acknowledgment, make a good deed jar for each child. When you catch her in the act, place a marble in the jar. When the jar is filled up, reward your child with a ̶0;prize,̶1; such as extra play time or a family movie night, for a job well done.

Have your children work together as a team on chores or encourage them to work together toward a common goal. You can create a project for them, such as reorganizing the playroom, painting the spare room or mucking out the garage to turn it into a teen hangout. Let the kids take charge of the project -- as long as it's safe -- and watch their sibling camaraderie and teamwork skills develop.

Help them get started. Now that the kids are no longer wrestling over the television or other petty quarrels, plan a good deed activity to show them how much they can help. Write out each family member̵7;s name on slips of paper, call a family meeting and select names from a jar. Have each person try to do as many nice things as possible throughout the next day or week for the person they select. The purpose is to get the kids thinking about what deeds will actually be helpful and looking for opportunities to help out. Call another meeting afterward and have each person acknowledge all the things that were done for them, to show that they recognize the effort and to make the good deed-doer feel appreciated.