How to Avoid Power Struggles With Autistic Children

Know how autism affects your child. Autism is a spectrum disorder that manifests differently in each individual who has it. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, autism is a spectrum disorder, characterized by a wide range of symptoms, skills and levels of impairment. Its affects are mild in some children, while it severely disables others. Observe your child and get to know how he experiences autism. Avoiding eye contact and repeating phrases are just two of the behaviors in which some autistic children might engage. The NIMH recommends that parents who have an autistic child have him evaluated by a team of knowledgeable professionals and obtain appropriate interventions to help him develop adaptive behaviors as early as possible. The more you know about your child's autism, the better able you are to respond to his behaviors in ways that do not provoke unnecessary confrontation and, in doing so, avoid power struggles.

Help your child communicate her needs. Autistic children sometimes become aggressive when they are unable to express themselves or alert others that they have needs that no one is meeting. If your child has a constructive means of communication, she won't feel the need to fight for you to understand her. The National Institute on Deafness and Other Communication Disorders recommends that during the preschool years, parents enroll an autistic child in a structured education program that addresses both communication and behavior difficulties, in addition to working with a speech therapist who can design age-appropriate interventions to help the child develop a functional communication system based on oral language, signs, pictures or an electronic device. An effective communication system can strengthen your relationship while enabling you to avoid unnecessary power struggles.

Refrain from making unreasonable demands. Attempting to force an autistic child to do something he is simply not equipped to do is a recipe for disaster. Be realistic about your child's abilities and limitations. Patricia Wright, national director of autism services for Easter Seals, explains that it's normal for parents to adjust their expectations once a child is diagnosed with autism. Praise your child for making an effort, rather than becoming angry when he fails to meet your expectations. If your child sees you as supportive and compassionate as opposed to domineering and unreasonable, it will reduce his inclination to fight you for power.

Use incentives rather than insistence. Generally, it is not a good idea to try to forcefully impose your will upon an autistic child as it will invariably lead to an ugly and possibly prolonged power struggle. Offering your child an incentive for doing what you want -- such as a preferred object or activity -- is a much more effective approach that will likely result in a desirable outcome. The Indiana Center on Autism states that incentives can be a powerful motivator for autistic children.