How to Let Go of Grudges

A grudge is a long-standing resentment that carries with it a deep-seated feeling of spite, bitterness and hostility. Grudges have a way of oozing ill will, infecting relationships with guilt, anger and pain. When you go through the day in a haze of grudges, you can't see clearly, you can't enjoy sunshine, you lose your joy and people start avoiding you. Here are six ways to let go of grudges.

Things You'll Need

  • Emotional maturity
  • Willingness to move into the future

Instructions

    • 1

      Commit to Letting Go.
      Allowing grudges to fester destroys peace of mind and leads to misery and suffering. The more grudges you carry, the more cranky you become. When you find yourself walking around with a scowl, you can be sure that grudges are polluting any good intentions. Commit to letting go of grudges by first admitting that you have them.

    • 2

      Shift Focus.
      The source of your grudges doesn't matter as much as what you do with them. You can build a case against anyone, but that only adds more pain and confusion. You can alleviate grudges by deciding to spend your energy focusing on happier things. Most grudges are too old to hold onto any longer.

    • 3

      Make a Grudge List.
      List on a sheet of paper every grudge and resentment that pops into your head. Don't censor. Write down all the grudges. This is not time to pretend or con yourself; it's always better to be honest, especially with yourself.

    • 4

      Confess.
      They say confession is good for the soul, so make an appointment with an impartial person-a minister, a counselor, a trusted confidante, a mentor, a wise person. Tell the person about each slush-fund grudge and see how much better you feel. It's a relief to be grudge and resentment free.

    • 5

      Say Goodbye.
      Read over your grudges one by one, and say goodbye to the pain and suffering they have caused you. For example, say out loud, "I let go of this grudge toward my mother; it's not serving me any longer."

    • 6

      Forgive Yourself.
      It is not necessary to convey, confront, blast or otherwise communicate your grudges to your family or loved one. When you've been carrying grudges for years, they might not even remember what you're talking about. What is important is that you identify your grudges, communicate them to a trusted confidante, then choose to let them go. Forgive yourself and move on. After all, letting go of grudges is for you.

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