The Signs and Symptoms of a Damaged Father and Son Relationship

Historical View

• In previous generations, fatherhood was associated with powerful positive attributes such as expressing a strong bond with a parenting partner, experiencing pride and joy, and embodying masculinity, according to a 2012 "Psychology Today" article titled ̶0;Fathers and Sons.̶1; In modern generations, author Frank Pittman states, less power, less wisdom and less love is being shared between fathers and sons. After the Industrial Revolution, men were less involved with domestic arrangements because they worked outside the home in factories and stores. This left them with two primary roles: providing financial stability and discipline.

Effects in Children

• Signs of damaged father-and-son relationships sometimes manifest as negative effects in children, according to the National Fatherhood Initiative article, "Statistics on Father Absence." When fathers are present, children tend to have higher self-esteem and perform better in school. In damaged father-son relationships, children have experience lower self-esteem. They might experience anger or blame themselves for a father̵7;s absence in the family dynamic. Damaged father-son relationships can result in unhealthy peer relationships and bullying.

Poor Communication

• Poor communication is often a symptom of a damaged father and son relationship, according to a 2013 article in the Minneapolis Star-Tribune titled, ̶0;The Father-Son Dynamic Often is Fraught with Uncomfortable Silence.̶1; Sons might feel more comfortable discussing their lives and feelings with their mothers; fathers might have been raised to restrain their emotions. This can create a cycle of estrangement. When either fathers or sons attempt to discuss the emotional distance or damaged relationship, this might create defensiveness. Poor communication and distance can lead to fathers being viewed as a scapegoat or whipping post when things go awry in the their sons̵7; lives.

Other Signs

• Family therapist Fran Walfish states that additional signs can indicate damaged father and son relationships. Fathers might be physically present but detached, not engaging meaningfully in the lives of their sons. In some circumstances, mothers assume nurturing roles while fathers take on disciplinary duties. This can have negative effects during the adolescent years if teenage sons feel that fathers primarily limit opportunities and privileges, criticize their flaws or only offer attention when they misbehave. Fathers might withhold praise or attention unless sons perform well in sports, creating unhealthy expectations and roles for sons who might be interested in other things. According to Empowering Parents.com, states that fathers might take on aggressive or bullying roles, creating a frightening or unhealthy dynamic in the family.