How to Not Argue With Your Spouse in Front of the Baby

The birth of a baby is a life-altering event in your life as a couple -- especially during the first year, which brings major changes in lifestyle and responsibilities. This added stress often leads to arguments between parents caring for a new baby. In an article published by WebMD, Dr. Andrew Garner, assistant clinical professor of pediatrics at Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, wrote, "When parents are consumed by their worries, they are less attentive to the needs of their baby, which can leave the baby feeling isolated and afraid." It is critical that you learn healthy ways to manage disputes between you and your spouse to avoid long- term adverse affects on your baby's health and well-being.

Instructions

    • 1
      Staying calm helps avoid making the problem worse.

      Take deep breaths and listen for five seconds. It may be difficult at first, but this technique will distract you long enough so that you can keep your cool and avoid shouting at your spouse in front of your baby.

    • 2
      Speaking from your heart helps others empathize with your feelings.

      Use "I" statements and focus on yourself when talking to your spouse. Instead of shifting the blame and focusing on the behavior you dislike in your partner, focus on how it makes you feel. For example, you can say, "I feel embarrassed when you tell people about my personal problems." This "I" approach may create less defensiveness in your spouse and help keep the situation calm.

    • 3

      Give your spouse ample opportunity to express his feelings. Avoid cutting him off in mid-sentence. Do not engage in verbal attacks on your spouse's physical appearance or character. Your goal is to create an environment of safety, love and respect for yourselves and your baby.

    • 4

      Leave the past in the past. Bringing up past problems between you and your spouse in an effort to add validation to your current argument will only cause more problems. Don't keep a record of wrongs.

    • 5

      Validate your spouse's feelings and concerns. It is important that both of you feel you are being heard. It is much easier for your spouse to care about your feelings if he senses that you care about his too. Avoid raising your voice which will cause your baby distress, and can even lead to feeding and sleeping problems in your infant.

    • 6
      Recalling positive and funny events eases tension.

      Point out positive things you love about your spouse. Poke fun at each other. This may be difficult in a moment of anger, but it will help your spouse feel secure and remind you both that you do love each other despite your differences. You will also find it easier to carry on together after you have finished discussing the problem at hand.

    • 7
      Love, communication and mutual respect are ingredients for a harmonious family environment.

      Remind your spouse that you want the best for your family and you will work with him to find a solution that makes you both feel comfortable. Your mutual goal should be to find solutions rather than create problems.

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