Emotional Changes in Parents

The Baby Blues

• The first week after giving birth, many moms experience a sudden bout of depression. You may feel especially anxious, sensitive and irritable. You and your husband should understand that these symptoms of childbirth -- the baby blues -- are temporary. Hormonal changes in the woman̵7;s body lead to these downward mood swings. Nearly 80 percent of mothers experience the baby blues, making it an adequate concern for parents, according to WA Health. However, the baby blues rarely last longer than one or two weeks, so hang in there!

̶0;We Didn̵7;t Click̶1;: Disappointment about Your Baby

• Parents of a new child often have high expectations about their relationship with their child. Though bonded by genes and a nine-month ordeal, babies simply don̵7;t care much for your expectations; they̵7;d prefer to sleep, cry and eat. For parents, the lack of an instant bond with their newborn can be disappointing at least and heart wrenching in the worst cases, cases in which you perhaps expected too much of your newborn. Because taking care of your newborn is hard work, it̵7;s natural to expect some positive feedback for all you̵7;ve done. But when you don̵7;t get it, another natural consequence in the form of stress, frustration and disillusionment might arise. Be aware that human children are born prematurely and are thus withdrawn from others, including their closest family members. They will grow closer to you as they get older and as they gain the functions normal in fully developed babies, such as vision and voice recognition.

The Baby as a Jail Warden

• Planned pregnancies are the result of freedom, an autonomous decision made by you and your spouse. But once your child enters this world, you might feel like you̵7;ve lost that very freedom that allowed your decision to create a child. Many parents know in advance that having a child means more responsibility, a financial drain and fewer career opportunities. But it̵7;s often only after the doctor has spanked your child̵7;s cute butt that it hits you: You have more boundaries than ever now. This loss of freedom can lead to sadness, stress and even regret. It̵7;s primarily your attitude that will determine how you deal with your loss of freedom. Having a child is a tradeoff with benefits and detriments, and in the future, when the little one has left the house to pursue college or a career, you might look back at your current attitude and laugh.

The Shock of Being a Father

• While mothers have little control over their hormone-driven mood swings, fathers have a much better ability to brace themselves for the emotional changes that come with being a parent. Yet most don̵7;t. Moms begin being moms at pregnancy. But dads tend not to consider themselves parents until the baby is crying in the crib. The shock of suddenly realizing you̵7;re a father can rock your world, which is why many psychologists, such as John Gottman, author of the book ̶0;Raising an Intelligent Child,̶1; recommends fathers begin planning for fatherhood during pregnancy. After childbirth, fathers often feel left out, seeing the mother-child relationship as a dualistic relationship hard to penetrate. To prevent this, as a father, you should integrate yourself into the parental duties as soon as you can, helping out around the house and focusing on the needs of both your child and your wife.

It̵7;s Not All Bad

• While the immediate gamut of emotions following childbirth tend to be stressful ones, becoming a parent can bring about strong positive feelings as well. As a parent, you̵7;ll experience strong bouts of happiness and excitement as you discover your child developing and connecting with the world around him. From his first word to his learning to share his feelings with you, each new discovery can bring parents to ecstatic highs. It is at around the age of 3 months when parents really begin to connect with their child. At this age, children will make strong eye contact with their parents, smiling at them and responding to them emotionally. As you engage in baby talk and play facial expression games with your 3-month-old baby, you̵7;ll often find yourself emotionally connecting with your child in ways that you could have only imagined a few months ago, making those earlier, more stressful months completely worth it.