How to Avoid Arguing in Front of Children

Although arguing is a normal part of any relationship, parents are often advised to avoid arguing in front of their children as much as possible. It's not usually the fighting itself but more the way in which parents argue that can create potential problems for children. Quoted in an article by Michaela Fox on the Essential Kids website, Warren Cann, CEO of the Parenting Research Centre in East Melbourne, Australia, says that the effects of parental arguing on children depend on the severity and frequency of the conflict as well as the way it's resolved. It's inevitable that you'll have times of conflict with your partner when your kids are around, but you can take measures to avoid arguing in their presence.

Instructions

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      Step away and take a breather when you feel a fight starting to erupt when the kids are around. If you don't walk away, you're making the decision to put your need to fight ahead of your children's well-being, says talk show host and mental health professional Dr. Phil McGraw. Leave the room and write down your thoughts and feelings. This will not only help you calm down, it will help you prioritize the things you want to discuss with your partner at a later date.

    • 2

      Demonstrate affection toward your partner during times of peace and calm, advises psychologist Dr. Suzanne Phillips in an article for PBS's "This Emotional Life." Showing affection, love and respect for each other will help offset the impact of the times when you simply can't avoid fighting in front of your children.

    • 3

      Take the fight out of the room. If you must address your concerns or issues with your partner in the moment and you can't put it off to a later time, bring the conversation to another room or location.

    • 4

      Establish a cue system that signals when a fight is about to start, advises Dr. Phil. Agree upon a cue, such as a pillow, a card or another object, that you'll both acknowledge during times of increasing tension. When you feel a fight beginning to brew, hold up the cue to your partner to signal that it's time to cool things off.

    • 5

      Address problems and concerns with your partner before they get out of hand. Arguments often arise when one partner feels that certain needs aren't being met or acknowledged. If you can identify and articulate these needs to your partner in advance, you may be able to prevent arguments from erupting in front of your children. For example, if you feel that you've taken on more than your fair share of chores or responsibilities, talk to your partner before it becomes a bone of contention. In an article by Alexandra Gekas on the "Women's Day" magazine website, psychologist Dr. Robert Epstein advises flipping a coin if you and your partner are unable to decide whose turn it is to perform certain tasks. This also allows your children to see that you can successfully address conflict without it developing into an argument.

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