How to Stop Pleading with an Adult Child to Move Out

If your adult children are returning to the nest, you are not alone. A 2009 Pew Research survey found that 13 percent of parents with adult children opened their homes once again within that year. Pleading with an adult child to move out is frustrating for both parent and child. Requesting that your adult child move out is unlikely to produce the desired result. The key to ending the living arrangement is to stop pleading and start planning a concrete time line with logical goals and expectations. Helping your adult child achieve independence will be healthy for both of you.

Instructions

    • 1

      Set boundaries and limits for the living arrangement. You are the homeowner. Think of your adult child as you would any other adult boarder in your home and plan accordingly. Treating your adult child as a child only enables unhealthy behavior and does not encourage independence. Design a policy regarding home issues, including guests and use of common areas.

    • 2

      Discuss your food, phone, television, electricity and even heating or cooling bills and your expectations of your child's contribution to these bills. Set a date when you will start charging rent or a rent substitute. "Money Watch" suggests that your child should be contributing 10 to 20 percent of take-home pay, which is still significantly lower than normal rent costs. Alternatively, you can hold the money in an account for the child and return it when she moves out.

    • 3

      Specify what you expect of your child as long as he is living with you. In the absence of a job, he should be taking appropriate measures to find one; interning, volunteering, networking or taking extra classes to increase marketability will likely open up job opportunities. Your child can also use his free time to do work around the house if you have decided to delay charging rent.

    • 4

      Use your adult child's natural desire for independence to your advantage. If you are unsatisfied with your child's efforts to find a job and become a productive member of the household, make the living arrangement less comfortable. Curfews, guest restrictions and added responsibilities can all make a young adult look seriously for a new situation.

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