How to Stop Kids' Rivalry

Tell your kids to stop fighting but avoid being the referee at all costs, advises social worker James Lehman of Empowering Parents. When you referee your kids̵7; fights, you are only making their rivalry worse because you are essentially picking a winner each time. If your kids are fighting over the remote control and you step in, ask them to explain themselves and then tell them that big sister is right, that it̵7;s her turn since little brother got to watch his favorite show earlier in the day, you are taking sides. This is a no-no when it comes to preventing sibling rivalry. Instead, simply tell them to stop arguing over the remote control and figure out a compromise or no one gets to use it.

Remove your kids from the situation to end the fight, advises KidsHealth. If they are fighting over who gets the bigger room in your new house, send them each to a different room until everyone has had a few minutes to calm down. Sometimes, the easiest way to end rivalry for the time being is to give everyone a chance to take a few deep breaths and think about the problem at hand so they are better equipped to handle it with maturity when you allow them to come out of their rooms.

Encourage your kids to spend time in their own space and do their own thing on a regular basis, advises KidsHealth. They also need to spend quality time alone with you without the other one present on a regular basis. You could take your daughter to the salon and spend some quality time getting pedicures while your son gets to stay home with Dad and hang out without his sister for a while. Later, you can take your son to a baseball game or a movie while his sister gets some downtime at home. It̵7;s a win-win situation for everyone.

Employ an organizational system to prevent sibling rivalry, advises KidsHealth. If your kids fight over whose turn it is to walk the dog, watch television or set the table, create a schedule so that the next time they̵7;re tempted to argue, you can simply point to the schedule and put an end to their fight.

Acknowledge your child̵7;s jealousy and down play it as the natural emotion that it is, advises Lehman. If your son is jealous that his sister is better at sports than he is, point out that being jealous happens to everyone from time to time but that while his sister is a great athlete, he̵7;s the best writer in his entire class and that̵7;s a skill not many people have. When you make him feel good about his own accomplishments, it helps to defuse the jealousy he is feeling.