What Are the Dangers of Egocentric Behavior in a Child of 9 Years of Age?

Egocentric and child behavior are overlapping terms. Part of the definition of an egocentric person is someone who puts his own concerns and interests before that of others. Anyone who has watched a child refuse to share his favorite possession knows that children are naturally bent toward egocentric behavior. Not until children mature well into adolescence do they have the experiences and maturity to see the benefits of putting others before themselves.

  1. Emotional Sliding Scale

    • Parents should understand that emotional development occurs on a sliding scale. No hidden switch exists that changes a person's character from egocentric to other-centric. Some children will mature more quickly into an emotionally mature young adult than others. The slope of this development curve is based on the child's personality style, her birth order within the family and a host of environmental factors.

    Caught Not Taught

    • Many emotional and relational skills can be described as being "caught by the child, not taught." In other words, emotional maturity, character and relationship skills are learned environmentally through complex cues. While children learn do's and don'ts through direct lessons, the ability to put others first, and thus be less egocentric, is a complex lesson which cannot be communicated verbally. How children interact with others is related to what they observe in the home, and what is modeled within their peer group. Parents who are permissive, over-indulgent or fail to impose consistent discipline contribute to creating a narcissistic child.

    Self-Esteem Issues

    • Lingering narcissism in children is connected to low, or underdeveloped self-esteem. Children who are allowed to mature without experiencing the consequences of their behaviors, both positive and negative, mature without boundaries. A boundary-less child does not feel secure and positive about life. The presence of consistent and tangible childhood boundaries lead to greater self-esteem because the child feels protected and emotionally safe within the limits set by parents and teachers.

    Natural Emotional Development

    • Teen years are typified by egocentric behavior. During teen years the parents' best efforts and worst mistakes come to the surface of their child's personality as the adolescent forges his personal identity. A 9 year old who exhibits excessive egocentric behavior could be modeling what he sees in an older sibling, acting out of emotional insecurity or beginning to wrestle with early onset of adolescent hormonal changes. In most cases this is a natural part of emotional development.

    Proactive Strategies

    • Outdoor adventure clubs and competitive athletic teams help children burn off youthful energy, develop physically and learn to balance self-centric and other-centric behaviors Highly relational organizations such as scouts or church youth groups also model for the child positive and non-egocentric patterns. Most importantly, consistent in-home discipline, which holds the child accountable for behaviors, rewarding good choices and enforcing boundaries and consequences for negative behaviors, help transform a self-centered child to a relationally adept young adult. Children will not learn emotional maturity through conversation with parents intent on being their child's friend. They must experience the fruit of their choices in order to internalize character transformation.

    2. Previous:

    Next:

    • How to Discipline a Defiant Child
      There are a number of children out there who may be considered defiant. This can be because of a certain problem such as ADHD, ADD, an emotional impairment, special needs or it can just because of a lack of structured discipline in the childs environ
    • After The Talk
      Q We had our son repeat fifth grade in a new school, and he did much better with the work and responsibility this time around. He still interacts with boys from his old school and still says that he wishes he could go back. If he does excel over the
    • How to Use Your Anger in a Positive Way
      How to Use Your Anger in a Positive Way Its a Good Idea! The trick is to use your anger to effectively teach your child discipline while improving your relationship with your child. How? By being clear, direct, and genuine.Anger is a strong emotion,