How to Change the Behavior of a Spoiled Preschooler

While you can't spoil a baby, it can be surprisingly easy to spoil a toddler or a preschooler. If your preschooler is very hard to satisfy, thinks only his wants matter, protests everything, makes unreasonable demands and attempts to control others, is rude, constantly complains of being bored and has a low tolerance for frustration and hard work, he is probably spoiled, according to the University of Alabama and the Children's Physician Network. But you can stop spoiling him and help him be a happier kid.

Things You'll Need

  • Poster board
  • Stickers

Instructions

    • 1

      Stick to behavior expectations. While you should be understanding if a 3-year-old has difficulty sitting quietly throughout a two-hour meal, it is reasonable to expect her to sit at the table for one that takes 15 minutes. Figure out what is age-appropriate for your preschooler and then be consistent about it, suggests the University of Alabama.

    • 2

      Establish clear consequences for breaking the rules. If your preschooler doesn't meet behavioral expectations, give him consequences. He might earn himself a timeout if he's fighting with a sibling, or he could lose a toy for a few days if he throws it at you.

    • 3

      Expect your child to be upset. If parents are changing the dynamics to "unspoil" their child, that child is going to protest. She may sob when she doesn't get her way or tell you that you're the worst parent in the world. Don't feel bad; coping with frustration is an important life skill.

    • 4

      Do not allow tantrums to be successful. When your child starts screaming for a cookie in the middle of the grocery store, it seems so quick and easy and harmless to quiet him down by giving in to the demand. But of course, all you've really taught him is that if he screams loudly enough, he'll get what he wants.

    • 5

      Reward good behavior. Pay attention when your child is playing quietly, or if she accompanies you to the store without demanding a toy. Keep track of good behavior, such as giving a sticker each time your preschooler sits through dinner or goes to the store without a tantrum. When your child accumulates 10 stickers, give her a special treat.

    • 6

      Don't try to negotiate. Your preschooler isn't ready to listen to why he needs to wear his seat belt, especially if he's already throwing a fit about it. Repeat the rule, but don't try to explain it or promise a toy if he calms down.

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