Disciplinary Strategies for Children With Emotional and Behavioral Issues

Watch For Cues

• The first step to helping your child stop misbehavior is to understand why it occurs. Keep track of your child̵7;s behavior and watch for cues or triggers. Your child may be more likely to throw a temper tantrum when he is tired or hungry. He may be more likely to burst into tears right when everyone is ready to leave in the morning. Once you are able to recognize his triggers, you can work with your child. For example, if your child has trouble transitioning from one activity to another, give him some warning. You might say ̶0;We will all be ready to leave the house in 15 minutes.̶1; Remind him again, five minutes before you leave. If your child misbehaves when he is tired, plan quiet and calming activities during those times of the day when he is more likely to feel fatigue.

Offer Alternatives to Misbehavior

• The UCLA School Mental Health Project encourages parents to offer children alternative ways to deal with behavior issues. This might include setting aside a special chair or area where he can go to calm down. Other alternatives might be counting to 10 before crying, using ̶0;I feel̶1; statements instead of yelling or carrying a small comfort object. This helps him to realize that his emotions aren̵7;t bad and that he has the choice of what to do with them.

Use Natural and Logical Consequences

• Experiencing consequences are one way for your child to learn about his choices. Natural consequences are those things that happen as a direct result of the child̵7;s actions. For example, if your child loses his temper at the ice cream parlor and, in his tantrum, drops his cone, the natural consequence would be that he doesn̵7;t have any ice cream, even if that means he gets more upset. Dr. William Sears points out how important it is to allow children to learn from their behaviors and warns parents against over-protecting children by negating natural consequences, like buying the child a second cone. However, no parent should allow a consequence that would cause actually physical harm. You cannot allow your child to experience the natural consequences of running into a busy street. This is where logical consequences fit in. UCLA defines logical consequences as taking away something the child wants that makes sense with the infraction. So if the child runs towards the road, your response might be ̶0;I̵7;m sorry but we have to go inside. If I can̵7;t trust you to stay away from the road, then we can̵7;t play outside.̶1;

Praise

• As your child̵7;s behavior changes, let him know that you see it. Sears encourages parents to sincerely praise children̵7;s behavior. When you compliment the child̵7;s choice, you validate what he has done and support his growing sense of self-control.