Natural Consequences for Teen Door Slamming

Damage

• The most important reason to stop door slamming is the damage it creates to doors, door frames, walls and other property that can be expensive to repair and may cause the family to lack resources to pay for other needs or wants. Damage from door slamming might not be immediately evident but may build over time. Therefore, stopping door slamming early is important to prevent damage. Natural consequences should be allowed to occur as soon as door slamming becomes evident. An example of a natural consequence for door slamming would be for the teen to no longer have a door because the door is damaged beyond repair or has to be used to replace a door in another area of the home.

Repairs

• According to the Parenting Young Teens flyer from the Iowa State University Extension, natural consequences help teens become responsible for their behavior through experiencing the outcomes of their actions. Consider what happens when an adult slams doors. The adult pays to repair the damage or must live with the damage. If paying for damage is the natural consequence, payment should come from the teen's funds and not from the parent. By losing money that might have been otherwise spent on activities enjoyed by teens, the door slammer learns that one natural consequence of causing damage is having to pay for repairs.

Logical Consequences

• If the natural consequence of the behavior is damage to an exterior door, the security of the house is compromised and parents might need to use more logical consequences. When using logical consequences, it is important that parents create a clear relationship between the consequence and its cause. An example of a logical consequence for door slamming might be that the teen has to miss a fun activity with peers to take time to help with other repairs around the house. House repairs are clearly related to damage even though the damage being repaired may not have been caused by the door slamming.

Relationship Damage

• Door slamming that is done as a sign of disrespect is damaging not only to physical property, but also to relationships the teen has with others. For parents, the importance of finding the cause of door slamming might be as important as stopping the behavior. If a parent suspects that the child is slamming as an expression of frustration, the parent might want to help the child learn strategies for speaking to parents and other adults. Another natural consequence could be that the teen has to see a counselor or mental health professional who can work with the teen on anger management or self-control. Kidshealth.org has suggestions to help develop communication with parents or with another trusted adult. That website also has information for teens on improving relationships and developing people skills, such as respect.