How to Use Communication as Discipline

Explain your expectations to your child so she understands family rules and guidelines, advises School Psychologist Richard Flagle. If your child doesn̵7;t know the rules, she will struggle to follow them. For example, if a family rule states that everyone must remove shoes before entering your home, explain this rule to each family member, as well as reasons for the rule. You might say, ̶0;Shoes often have dirt on the bottoms of them. We take our shoes off before we walk into our home to keep our house cleaner.̶1;

Create consequences for rule breaking that fit each infraction and communicate the consequences to your child so he understands what will happen if he breaks rules. Logical consequences fit an infraction because they have a connection to the broken rule. An example of a logical consequence might be having your child sweep up a mess if he tracks mud inside because he didn̵7;t remove his shoes before entering the house. Natural consequences occur without intervention on your part.

Listen when your child shares thoughts, feelings and emotions with you. Your active listening should enable you to understand how your child thinks and feels, as well as empathize with her, suggests professionals with the Betty Hardwick Center, a community center in Abilene, Texas. Your empathy helps your child understand her feelings, and it helps guide her toward positive solutions.

Establish a brief connection with your child prior to any instruction, direction or reprimand that you must deliver, advises the Ask Dr. Sears website. Saying your child̵7;s name or touching his shoulder before a few seconds of eye contact should be sufficient for connecting before you ask him to pick up his toys or put his bicycle away.

Strive to speak respectfully and lovingly with your child, treating her as a valuable and interesting person, recommends the University of Maine. Speaking respectfully to your youngster will teach her to respect others by following your example. Adopt an affirming and friendly attitude as you communicate to help your child feel positive about herself. Phrase directives positively instead of negatively ̵1; ̶0;Quiet voices please̶1; instead of ̶0;Don̵7;t yell!̶1; Phrase disciplinary statements with ̶0;I messages̶1; to communicate feelings ̵1; ̶0;I feel frustrated when I see laundry all over the floor. Will you help clean up the dirty clothes, please?̶1;

Interact with your child as often as possible throughout every day to build a strong bond and to show your youngster that you have an avid interest in his activities, thoughts and feelings. Your continual communication will help your relationship thrive and grow with your child. Your child may stay more responsive to your guidance and discipline when you focus on building and maintaining a strong bond.