How to React to Kids When They're Naughty
Effective discipline enables children to take responsibility for their behavior while maintaining a positive and loving parent-child relationship, according to the article, "Discipline for Young Children -- Responding to Misbehavior," published by the Virginia Cooperative Extension. Parents might expect their children to change in response to their methods of discipline, but if it's not working, they may need to learn to respond to challenging behavior, rather than react to it. Discipline is not a one size fits all approach; therefore, parents may need to tweak their approach before they see an improvement in their children's behavior.
Instructions
Practice detachment. Doing so will help parents to discipline with a calmer attitude and avoid taking their children's antics personally. For example, if an older child hits a younger child, the parent may feel angry and begin to punish the older child. Detachment allows the parent to step back and imagine what she would do if it was a neighbor's child, or she was the teacher dealing with an unruly student. Generally, parents would have a different approach when dealing with another's child. Look for the reason for a child's naughtiness. Children may misbehave when they are not feeling well, craving attention or just plain curious. For example, a 4-year-old boy may want to see how his father's tools work. Although he was told not to touch them, the father catches his son exploring his workbench in the garage he left unlocked. Rather than react, he can use this as a teachable moment to remind his son the rules exist to keep him safe. The father can encourage his son to ask questions and for permission to see his tools, and let him know what the consequence will be if it happens again. Remain firm even when your child tests your limits. Allow her to experience the consequences of her actions. For example, a parent might question what to do if her 9-year-old daughter rode her bike out of the set boundaries because her friends rode by and she followed along. Her daughter may argue that she wants to do what her friends are doing. Issue the consequence for the broken rule. When you are both calm, discuss the rules together. As your child matures, rules change, too. This will teach your child to come to you and discuss the issues rather than breaking a rule in the hopes of changing the rule herself. Listen to your child's feelings and give him words if he doesn't have them yet. It is of equal importance to separate the child from the misbehavior. For example, if your son pulls the dog's tail because you won't give him a cookie, say, "Tyler, it seems you're upset with me because I won't give you a cookie. You can feel mad but don't pull Duncan's tail. That hurts him." Encourage him to build a block tower and knock it down instead.
