How to Understand the Needs of an Introverted Child
Children have different temperaments. From outgoing and extroverted-to reserved and introverted-each child demonstrates a preferred way of gathering information, sizing up their surroundings and relating. Here are ways to understand the needs and preferences of a child who may prefer an introverted style.
Instructions
Follow their lead. Honor their way. Build self-esteem. Give peace and quiet. Talk a talking break. Look for role models. Less is more. Delight in the specialness of children.
An introverted child is likely to hold back when faced with something unfamiliar. They proceed slowly. They prefer to size up their surroundings before jumping in. When given the time they need to feel comfortable, they make accurate observations and respond appropriately. Step back and you will notice how much they are taking in and evaluating what is happening around them. Their pace may be slower, but it is valid. When allowed to go at their own pace they will join in, participate and make a contribution. If pushed they will get overwhelmed and retreat.
There are different styles and temperaments, but one is not better than the other. Don't try to force an introverted child to be extroverted. Since the majority of the population are extroverts, some parents worry that there is something wrong if a child is not outgoing. No need to fret. Introverts are very successful, highly intelligent and creative. They have a rich inner life full of imagination.
An introverted child may have more doubts about who he is because of pressure to be like the other kids. As a parent you need to assure your child that you love him or her just the way they are.
An introverted child needs downtime to make transitions from school to home. After they've been around friends they will be exhausted and need to rest. After a downtime they will bounce back and are ready to participate again. They just need quiet, private time to recharge their batteries.
An introverted child speaks slowly. Don't finish their sentences. Listen a lot more and don't interrupt. Be patient. Take it slow and easy. Take a talking break when sitting at the table, driving in the car. Let them open up the conversation, but until then, listen to the wind.
I have heard that Michael Jordan, Albert Einstein, Warren Buffett and Steven Spielberg are introverts. That's good company to be in. Remember, it is not that introverts don't like people; it's that they need private time for dreaming and planning and thinking things through.
One-on-one activities and outings are more appealing to an introverted child than large group activities. Let your child choose his activities. When involved in lots of activities let your child take breaks or skip as needed.
By honoring individual choices you are letting your children know that you believe in them. Every child is unique and that's what makes them so special.
