How to Teach Children About Obeying Rules

Rules are important to your child. They help to keep her safe, as well as teach her how to function in school, society and at home. In spite of the fact that children have an amazing capacity to learn and are eager to please, there are times when rules will be broken. Be clear and consistent with praise and consequences to help her remember the rules in your household and how to obey them.

Instructions

    • 1

      Explain rules as clearly as you can. If you are speaking to a younger child and don't want him to pull his sister's hair, statements such as, "How would you like that?" or "That hurts your sister" may not get the message across. Say, "Don't pull your sister's hair."

    • 2

      Make sure your child has heard and understood you. Watch her eyes and face to see if she is paying attention or thinking about something else. Ask her to repeat what you have just said to make sure she was listening.

    • 3

      Explain to your child the reason for a rule. This may be sufficient to get cooperation. Some children simply need an explanation and will listen without further issue.

    • 4

      Create a consequence for non-compliance. Be clear about what the consequence is. Tell your child that if he pulls his sister's hair, you will put him in time-out. Use only consequences that you will follow through on. For example, never say, "I'll tell Santa not to come at Christmas!" or "No Halloween trick-or-treating for you!" Utilize time-out, taking away a favorite toy for a number of days, or denying access to a favorite TV program.

    • 5

      Supervise your child. Watch for rule-breaking attempts. If you see her reaching for her sister's hair, remind her that you told her not to pull it, and if she does, you will send her to time-out.

    • 6

      Always follow through with the consequence that you have created, and take that opportunity to reinforce the rule. "I am sending you to time-out because you pulled your sister's hair. You are not allowed to pull someone's hair".

    • 7

      After his punishment is served, ask your child again why he was punished. Make sure he either remembers on his own, or tell him again.

    • 8

      If you normally use time-out as your consequence, have an alternative consequence handy for when you are rushed and on your way out of the house. For example, if your child pulls her sister's hair as you are taking them to school, tell your child that she may not play video games after school. Make a note of this so that you don't forget, and when she comes home from school remind her that she broke a rule earlier and now must serve her punishment.

    • 9

      Have strategies prepared for social outings, and always follow through. If you are in a restaurant and one child is misbehaving, remove the child from the table and take him somewhere for a time-out. If you are the only adult there and can't leave the table, tell him you will deny him dessert or take away his fire truck for two days. Never say that you will take him home unless you actually intend to pay the bill and leave in the middle of the meal.

    • 10

      Offer praise and acknowledge for the times when your child follows rules. Children thrive in an environment of positive reinforcement.

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