Should You Let Kids See You Cry If They Hurt Your Feelings?

Even with your best intentions and hard work, some days are going to be tough on the parenting home front. There may be days when your child hurts your feelings and makes you cry. Before stifling your emotions or heading into another room, consider the positive learning aspects of this situation.

  1. Honesty and Openness

    • If your child hurts your feelings and makes you cry, it can present an opportunity to problem-solve and work through the issue in the hope it never happens again. Being honest and open with your child can create a lifelong bond and closeness, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics. Sad or tough moments can lead to a discussion about what made you cry and why, and your child can talk about what he was feeling and why he acted that particular way.

    Natural Consequences

    • Letting your child see you cry is a demonstration of a natural consequence. A natural consequence presents a real-life cause-and-effect situation. He will see that his mean words or inconsiderate actions hurt your feelings and therefore caused you to cry. Sometimes just seeing his mother cry will be enough to stop your child's behavior and provide a natural punishment of feeling bad or guilty. You can also set limits. Let him know that you will not tolerate being treated badly, and state consequences for this kind of behavior.

    Communication

    • Your child needs to learn how to effectively communicate with others and learn appropriate social skills. When he does something to hurt your feelings, you can use your words to express your hurt, as well as your tears. You can say, ̶0;You really hurt my feelings when you̷0;̶1; When you use your words to express a feeling, you are teaching him how to exercise self-control instead of hitting, kicking or biting when he̵7;s upset.

    Showing Emotions

    • If you allow your child to see you cry, you can use this opportunity to teach him about emotions. You can turn this into a lesson on how to express your feelings in a healthy way, and that it is okay to cry. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, you should explain to your child that all feelings are allowed and only actions should be limited. Being an emotional role model can help your child learn how to react and deal with a wide range of feelings.

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