How to Handle Aggressive or Violent Children
Dealing with aggressive and violent children is a difficult balancing act. A parent must understand a child̵7;s emotional needs, which are individual to every child. Most of the time, kids do not lash out for no apparent reason. The key is to get to the root of the problem to find out why the child is having difficulty expressing his feelings in a constructive manner. The causes may be social, medical and psychological. By recognizing triggers and learning methods to soothe your child, you can manage to survive the tough times.
Instructions
Write down and log specific times and days that your child becomes aggressive. Note if it happens at the same time of day, when he's tired or hungry, if he gets angry when he has to share or if he lets off steam when he gets home from school. Over time you will see a pattern that will help determine the cause. Identify triggers. Once you see a pattern, you will be able to prevent many meltdowns from happening. If your child breaks down when he is hungry, have snacks readily available. Make sure he takes his nap if sleep is an issue. If school work is a stress factor, help him create a schedule so he won̵7;t wait to the last minute to finish a great amount of work. Set limits. Often, aggressive children seek attention and it is easy to fall into the rut of giving extra attention to aggressive children simply because they demand it. This will only set you up for a dangerous give-and-take where your child will act out for attention because he knows you will give in. Be firm and consistent with consequences. Support your child. Sometimes angry and aggressive children seek out bad behavior because they feel unworthy or unloved. Make sure that your child knows that you are there for him. Seek out alone time with your child and plan activities that interest him. Maintain a calm manner. It is one of the most difficult things to do, but by maintaining your cool during your child̵7;s meltdown, you are not only modeling proper behavior, but also keeping the event from escalating. Count to 10. Walk out of the room for a minute or two. Call a friend and vent (out of the child̵7;s hearing, of course). Just make sure you keep your composure. Get help. Sometimes, despite our best efforts, we need to call in reinforcement. Speak to a therapist who is particularly trained to handle violent and aggressive children. A therapist or counselor can teach you coping methods and help get to the bottom of what is causing your child to lash out.
